Reality check: (pulp) fiction idols
a) old
b) portly
c) in need of a new hair style
d) who gives a shit, just get him off the American Idol stage and back behind a camera where he belongs [Read more →]
Entries Tagged as 'television'
Reality check: Dancing With the Tards
Dancing With The Stars is a stupid show. It’s clear that the producers pick one to three contestants each season that are decent dancers, and with training can become relatively good when compared to their professional counterparts. The rest suck. We get it. [Read more →]
Lauren likes TV: The Hills are alive with the sound of awful
Last Week’s Roundup
The Hills (Monday, MTV, 10PM) — “Fun question”… who loathes The Hills? I know we were all on the edge of our seats to watch the Lauren and Heidi reconciliation. Psych. But Brody and Spencer did! I bet Brody really regrets Bromance now. [Read more →]
Lost in myth: Is dead really dead?
Perhaps the most ironic theme of “Dead Is Dead” is that it actually seems to imply anything but. The episode is more about the futility of death, rather than its finality, yet, I don’t think this is its ultimate message. The message in its fullest form is that dead is only dead if your services will no longer be needed.
Lauren likes TV: Chelsea what-have-they-done-to-you Lately?
I love Chelsea Handler. She’s effin’ hysterical. I haven’t read her books, but I intend to read both, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands, and Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, and I watch her late-night show on E!, not religiously, but when I’m awake. What I do do religiously is download her podcast every single morning on iTunes. The second I arrive to my office, I crack open my coffee (shout out to the coffee cart on Broadway and Houston) and crack up at Chelsea’s 2-minute monologue about something hysterical, usually having to do with reality TV. It really makes my morning.
But good lord, E!. Can you help a sister out? They have really let Chelsea let herself go. [Read more →]
Reality check: Adam’s idol
Well, my friends, I think last night a winner was crowned. No, it wasn’t the season finale, but Adam Lamert’s rendition of “Mad World” was a full-on show stopper. Simon gave the kid a standing ovation and it ended with that. No words were spoken by the judges — none were necessary. [Read more →]
Lauren likes TV: Holy 90210-ly!
Last Week’s Roundup
90210 (Tuesday, The CW, 9PM) — Epic. Did anyone appreciate this horrifying episode as much as I did? Silver, Kelly (and David’s) younger sister, who at one point was the only somewhat likable character on this train-wreck, is a maniacal psychopath. [Read more →]
Lost in myth: Figuring out your destiny from Lost and life
Before I go to sleep at night, sometimes I ask the universe a question about my destiny. The answer, as bizarre as it may seem, usually comes in the form of a song that wakes me up on my clock radio the next morning. While I haven’t done this in a while, last night I once again had the urge. I asked the universe (God, the light, soul guides, my future self, whatever you wanna call it) what is going to happen on December 22, 2012 — the day after the Mayan calendar abruptly ends. The answer I received really surprised me. [Read more →]
Reality check: all the Joy has gone
To nobody’s surprise Megan Joy was voted off American Idol last night. While I’m more than happy to see the shimmy plagued singer go, I did feel bad about the way it ended. [Read more →]
Reality check: American iTunes
American Idol had its contestants singing the top 100 songs downloaded on iTunes last night. Overall the show was pretty good. Here’s the good, the bad and the fugly, in no particular order: [Read more →]
Lose weight while you sit at your computer
My friend’s mother sent me this clip from the Ellen Show. I never pay any attention to these kinds of forwards and actually came very close to deleting her email without even opening it up. But something made me look… and man was it worth it. The things people will spend money on. Truly hilarious.
Reality check: the good, the bad and the orange
Is it me, or is everyone on Dancing With the Stars getting more and more orange? Chuck Wicks, the country singer guy, is starting to look like an Oompa Loompa. For real. I couldn’t even look at him when the judges were reviewing his relatively mediocre performance last night. [Read more →]
Lauren likes TV: Our prayers have been answered — FNL renewed
Friday Night Lights has been renewed! Two more 13-episode runs for now, to be aired through the 2010-2011 season. And it will, once again, be aired on DirecTV before reaching NBC, something they did this year in order to help finance the whole thing. Fine by me! Anything to avoid another excruciating cancellation for a show completely undeserving…. Amen.
Lauren likes TV: Samantha Who? you ask…
Last Week’s Roundup
Samantha Who? (Thursday, ABC, 8:30PM) — Hooray! Sam and friends were back last week. You nearly always get a laugh (or many) from this comedy about Sam (Christina Applegate) who has amnesia and uses it to change her ways, as she learns she wasn’t such a nice girl in her previous life. [Read more →]
Lauren likes TV: TGIFNL
It’s been praised by Time magazine, has been nominated for prestigious awards (no, not you Emmy), and is one of the best-written and acted dramas on television. And it’s in danger of being cancelled. Again.
Friday Night Lights (Friday, NBC, 9PM), a show about High School football team Dillon Panthers and its small-time Texas town, is getting the shaft. [Read more →]
Reality check: what’s up smokey!
Last night on American Idol, Smokey Robinson dropped by and taught the contestants a thing or two about Motown. Some of them got it, most didn’t. Here’s the short short version: [Read more →]
Reality check: survivors, stars and idols
OK kids, here’s the breakdown this week:
Survivor — Again, boring by my standards. It really doesn’t get all that exciting until the merge hits and the castaways are forced to turn on each other. To nobody’s surprise, Spencer, the gay kid, went home last week. Not because he was gay (nobody actually knew, he hadn’t come out), but because he was a pansy and didn’t perform well at the challenge. He really didn’t have a chance. [Read more →]
Reality check: hasta luego Jorge
Survivor is filming in the Brazilian Highlands this season. I believe we are in the 18th season and much like MTV’s The Real World Brooklyn, it’s stagnating. Don’t get me wrong, I still watch it. I just love me some Jeff Probst. And watching these people scramble to form alliances and dig for hidden immunity idols just hasn’t gotten old yet. I think one more season and I might be done. Maybe. Nah, probably not. [Read more →]
Reality check: the bachelor’s a douche and Idol’s a train wreck
I have a love/hate relationship with reality television. My personal favorite reality show of all time would have to be the very first season of The Real World. It really felt real. There had never been a show like it. It was a new and raw concept and it was full of people who had never seen reality TV before. That alone set these seven strangers picked to live in a loft apart from the hundreds of cast members to follow. And if nothing else, Eric Nies was so much fun to look at… vacant and narcissistic, but fun.
Today is a new day. A day with douchey bachelors who propose to girls on national television only to break up with them on national television just weeks later. Whether you’re under contract or not, it’s a classless thing to do to someone. Even former bachelors and bachelorettes are bashing him. If you’re not familiar with the show but would like a recap, you’re not getting it from me. I’m over this guy. However, Kristen Baldwin of Entertainment Weekly puts it perfectly here.
The show I would like to talk about is American Idol. It’s a full on train wreck. The performers, for the most part, are maniacal and untalented. The judges are on drugs (just admit it, Paula) and Seacrest is a midget with a grin so irritating I sometimes fantasize about stapling his lips together.
Here are a few contestants that stand out to me, good and bad… [Read more →]
Sanctioned stalking
After watching the Titans throw and fumble away their playoff game versus Baltimore on Saturday, I was all footballed out. So for the first time in my life, I watched an entire episode of The Bachelor from start to finish. It just happened to be the season premiere, and from a male perspective, how could I be unhappy? One guy, 25 women to look at from the start, including one former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader… gotta like those numbers!
The object of the ladies’ affection is a fella named Jason, who apparently appeared on the previous season of The Bachelorette and came up short in his quest for love. Throughout the night, whether they were talking to Jason or each other, almost every female talked about how they had been “so attracted to Jason” while watching him on television and many boasted of feeling like they had developed connections with him from afar.
Um… isn’t that a little stalkerish? The fact that it’s network approved shouldn’t make it any less weird. If I were to show up in front of some arbitrary actress I like, flaunting our supposed similarities, and trying to give her a rose, I’d probably wind up gang tackled by large security guards.
Reality television doesn’t get any more unreal.
