technologyvirtual children by Scott Warnock

I’m getting ChatGPT’ed left and right–or at least I should be

Recently my daughter told me she was in the midst of an email feud over an injustice she had suffered at the hands of some organization.

I couldn’t be prouder.

There’s a chip off the old block. See, I have been known to write a bit in the genre of “customer/citizen discontent response”… alright, I’ll be honest: I’ve written about 1,000 letters of complaint to all kinds of organizations. It’s a special kind of madness. Organizations beware: You cross me, you’re gonna hear it. At one time, for better or worse, my most prolific published writing was op-eds and letters railing against the Philadelphia Parking Authority (PPA).

My friends, without a trace of humor, point out that there are certainly thick files on me out there in drawers labeled something like “Loonies.”

Organizations occasionally respond, usually wearily, and often with some kind of autoresponse.

Now there are AI chatbots like ChatGPT. I’m sticking to my guns that these AI language generators aren’t going to ruin the world, but they are out there for all to use.

As a teacher, I’m aware of AI’s potential. While I’m not up at night worrying about student authenticity, suddenly I have this new fascination that the organizations that receive my, uh, constructively critical e-missives should be mindful of these new technologies. In short, in replying, they can do better! A few examples will be instructive.

I recently complained to NJTransit about the inconsistency of the RiverLine (sigh, again). Equipment malfunctions, signal problems, equipment unavailability (?)–it’s always something. While I was at it, I tossed in a comment about how there are hardly ever any ticket checkers on the train. This is a light rail that requires riders to punch a ticket before riding: You don’t pass through a gate or agent to board. I ride the RiverLine several times a week, and I can’t remember the last time I saw a checker.

I let ’em know.

NJTransit punked me with an autoresponse, and they didn’t even try. Again, I complained about 1) inconsistent trains and 2) a lack of ticket checkers. It “wrote” this back:

NJ TRANSIT has an obligation to ensure that revenue is collected on all services to support operating and maintenance expenses, and to minimize our reliance on public support. Therefore, enforcement of our fare policies is a necessary responsibility of this agency.

I guarantee ChatGPT would hit the mark more accurately. You better believe NJT is getting another message.

Here’s another situation I have somehow found myself in: my American Airlines frequent flyer miles expired. Like many people during the pandemic, I didn’t fly. AA was generous in extending the deadline, but in March 2022, my miles were finally expiring. So I did what AA said I should: I used miles to buy something at their online store, thus extending my miles for 18 months. I bought some sporty (if I don’t mind saying) shorts to keep my 70,000+ miles.

But when I checked my miles balance, it was zero! I hastily wrote them to correct the situation. This was part of the reply:

I understand that you are concerned that your account is expiring. I have added 5 miles to your shopping account at this time. Please allow up to 3-5 business days for this to post to your account.

As for the missing rewards associated with your order # _ the order can’t be rewarded for missing miles as the order is over a year old.

They–yeah sure, there’s an “I” behind this–did nothing to address my problem and gave me a measly five miles!

Be confident I’m not done with them either.

A couple of my students have used AI chatbots. We talked it over. First, I’m mad at myself for the assignments, which I think left the door open for such plagiarism. Second, because in both cases it happened early in the writing process, I was able to push them to do better. In one case, the student took to the coaching and composed a great project.

At least they’re exploring this new technology, while companies and organizations are using the same old autoresponses to flick their customers’ communications off their shoulders like so much dialogic dandruff.

Oh great American entities, I’m hellbent on making sure you are aware that I’m onto to you, that at least until you try harder I know you’re not there.

Scott Warnock is a writer and teacher who lives in South Jersey. He is a professor of English at Drexel University, where he is also the Associate Dean of Undergraduate Education in the College of Arts and Sciences. Father of three and husband of one, Scott is president of a local high school education foundation and spent many years coaching youth sports.
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