television

Reality check: hasta luego Jorge

Survivor is filming in the Brazilian Highlands this season. I believe we are in the 18th season and much like MTV’s The Real World Brooklyn, it’s stagnating. Don’t get me wrong, I still watch it. I just love me some Jeff Probst. And watching these people scramble to form alliances and dig for hidden immunity idols just hasn’t gotten old yet. I think one more season and I might be done. Maybe. Nah, probably not.

There’s not much to recap thus far because we’re only a few episodes in. I don’t really become invested in the show until they start forming the jury. The jury in Survivor is comprised of the last 10 people voted out. Those people are the deciding votes as to who wins the million. In the last episode they get to grill the final two contestants. They stand up there, clean-shaven and down about 20-30 pounds since the start of the show and act as though they too didn’t lie, cheat and connive their way through the game. It’s basically the place where they get to openly act like the sore losers that they are. It’s my favorite part of the whole show.

Without a doubt the most notorious speech made by a member of the jury to a final contestant was by Sue in Season 1. Apparently, by the reunion show they were “cool,” but everyone knew that was a load of crap. Sue stood up and in front of millions of people told this girl she’d rather let her die on the side of the road than offer her a drink of water. Now that’s what Survivor is all about. That’s what I’m talking about right there. That’s reality TV, before anyone knew what reality TV actually was. It was authentic and raw.

Which naturally brings me to this week’s episode of everyone’s favorite talent show (I mean you Brad): American Idol! This week had the contestants singing Michael Jackson tunes. I’m not even going to get into what I think of that dude — I’m supposed to keep this short.

For starters, I was glad to see our Puerto Rican friend Jorge Nunez go. He sang Michael Jackson’s Never Can Say Goodbye. As irony would have it, it was actually pretty easy to say goodbye. His vocals were mediocre at best, and honestly, the fact that J-Lo and Marc Whats-his-face texted Seacrest and asked him to tell Jorge how much they loved him and how proud they were of him really annoyed me. Why aren’t they proud of that little blond chick that belted out Dirty Diana last night? That girl has pipes — send her a text message.

My favorite performance of the night was by far Adam Lambert’s rendition of Black and White. The best way I can describe his voice is a cross between Barbra Streisand and Axel Rose. I mean the old Axel, not the new one with all the botox and creepy hair weave. If this kid’s smart he’ll break out some Sweet Child of Mine this season. I think that would really put this twink on the map.

As for Paula and her drug of choice this week, my money’s on Xanax and Whiskey.

Reality Check appears every Thursday.

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