Top ten signs you picked a bad college
Posted on September 13th, 2010 by Bob Sullivan
10. You’ve only ever heard of it in the PennySaver
9. The college application was an insert in a McDonald’s menu
8. It’s run by defrocked nuns
7. The only book in the library has already been colored in
6. Last year’s commencement speaker was Justin Bieber
5. They spell it “U. N. I. V. E. R. C. I. T. Y.”
4. They boast “fewer felons on the faculty than last year”
3. The photo on the cover of the college catalogue: Snooki
2. The “Dean’s office” is a ’57 Buick
1. Most famous alumnus: Rod Blagojevich
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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