10. That travel agent you went to drunk turned out to be an Army recruiter.

9. The only summer job you could find was as a deer tick tweezerer.

8. Your boss wouldn’t even give you time off for good behavior.

7. Your summer highlight: watching reruns of “The Iron Chef.”

6. First name “Bernard.” Last name “Madoff.”

5. The only nice meal you’ve had out all summer included a two-hour presentation on timeshares.

4. Your sunburn is so bad, drivers stop at you and wait for you to change.

3. The B&B you stayed at has nothing but lumpy Bs and tasteless Bs.

2. The only action you got at the beach was some kelp in your trunks.

1. Due to hard-of-hearing travel agent, instead of Cancun you’ve wound up in Camden.
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts)

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