Top ten technology one-liners

Top ten technology one-liners

Posted on March 12th, 2018 by Bob Sullivan

10. The Internet: Where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

9. I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone.

8. My brain just logged me out due to inactivity, and now I can’t remember my password.

7. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

6. I’m at my most insecure when Word asks me if I want to save my changes, and I don’t remember making any.

5. Twitter is worth $4 billion, and that’s just in lost productivity.

4. I pushed too hard against my eardrum with a Q-tip and reset my brain.

3. Whatever my obituary says, I just hope it’s not, “He is survived by his Internet history.”

2. The only thing Google can’t tell you is what you were looking up in the first place.

1. Smartphone owners, that blurred bit just off the edge of the screen is called life.

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.