Top ten signs your team isn’t ready for the baseball season

Top ten signs your team isn’t ready for the baseball season

Posted on April 8th, 2013 by Bob Sullivan

10. When the umpire yells “Play ball!” your entire team runs to second base

9. They feel weak and listless without their Twinkies

8. One player gets injured standing for the National Anthem

7. A runner gets thrown out for stealing the dugout

6. When a sports writer compares your cleanup batter to Ruth, he means Ruth Buzzi

5. You keep hearing arguments about how many strikes to an out

4. When you tell a player to take left field, he asks, “My left or your left?”

3. Every time the pitcher throws the ball, the catcher dives out of the way

2. When your leadoff hitter gets to first, he has to ask for directions to second

1. It’s a hockey team

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.