Top ten signs gas is expensive

Top ten signs gas is expensive

Posted on September 5th, 2011 by Bob Sullivan

10. It’s so expensive, gas stations now have a concierge service

9. It’s so expensive, oil companies have actually started inspecting their offshore rigs

8. It’s so expensive, SUV now stands for Stationary Unused Vehicle

7. It’s so expensive, drivers are shooting themselves instead of each other

6. It’s so expensive, Oprah’s audience gave their cars back

5. It’s so expensive, if you ask for five dollars worth, the attendant will just fart, and then ask if you want a receipt

4. It’s so expensive, clowns are now cramming themselves onto a bicycle

3. It’s so expensive, a gallon of Starbucks is cheaper

2. It’s so expensive, the Indy 500 is now a foot race

1. It’s so expensive, the Amish are carrying signs that say “We Told You So!”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.