Top ten Steelers excuses for losing Super Bowl XLV

Top ten Steelers excuses for losing Super Bowl XLV

Posted on February 7th, 2011 by Bob Sullivan

10. Players unsettled by Brett Favre constantly sexting them

9. Under the mistaken impression there was going to be a fifth quarter

8. Players constantly getting creeped out by their weird-looking mascot, Steely McBeam

7. Never recovered from the disappointment of Christina Aguilera singing “The National Anthem” instead of “Genie in a Bottle”

6. Going in, they didn’t realize it was a contact sport with lots of pushing and shoving

5. Players crestfallen they weren’t up against the Chicago Bears; they really wanted to meet Obama

4. With no cheerleaders, team was unsure whether or not they should “Push ’em back, shove ’em back, way back!”

3. Players were so excited about seeing The Black Eyed Peas, they completely lost their focus

2. Thought, with six games to go, there was still plenty of time to win the series

1. Players creeped out by Rex Ryan constantly texting them asking if they want to play footsie

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.