Top ten signs you’re at a bad summer camp

Top ten signs you’re at a bad summer camp

Posted on July 5th, 2010 by Bob Sullivan

10. The slogan above the entranceway: All Parents Pay Up Front!

9. Every night at midnight, your bunkmate likes to go “pretend berserk” with a steak knife

8. All those late-night lectures about ‘Allah’ and ‘virgins’

7. The only “facility” available is a nearby lake

6. They let you build black snowmen out of tarballs on the local beach

5. All day, all the counselors talk about is how hunky Justin Bieber is

4. The cuisine: possum jerky and RC Cola

3. The Camp’s Indian name translates as ‘Winding Trails and Sheer Cliffs’

2. Each night, two hours of intimately checking each other for ticks

1. The horse they’re dragging you around on isn’t responding

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.