Top ten signs your new year is off to a bad start

Top ten signs your new year is off to a bad start

Posted on January 11th, 2010 by Bob Sullivan

10. Your co-workers have posted the video of your office Christmas party meltdown on YouTube

9. You’re the Balloon Boy’s dad

8. Your company is transferring you to its office in Kabul

7. For the Rose Bowl, you put your life’s savings on Oregon

6. Airport security thought your colostomy bag was an explosive device

5. All you got for Christmas was new underwear…Well, new to you!

4. For Christmas, your wife gave you a vasectomy gift card

3. You began the year in the emergency room having a champagne cork removed from your ass

2. Your first name is ‘Tiger’

1. You just woke up from your New Year’s Eve party

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.