Top ten things you don’t want to hear your male roommate say on your first day of college

Top ten things you don’t want to hear your male roommate say on your first day of college

Posted on September 21st, 2009 by Bob Sullivan

10. “Okay, I get the top bunk and the bottom bunk!”

9. “What’s it worth to you for me to keep my clothes on?”

8. “You got any underwear you don’t need?”

7. “Seriously, My Silent But Deadlies have been known to peel paint off the walls.”

6. “Which of the Jonas Bothers do you think is the cutest?”

5. “I bet I’m bigger than you are!”

4. “What do you mean you can still see me? I’m wearing my cloak of invisibility!”

3. “I have a surprise for you. It’s in my trouser pocket.”

2. “I have a tendency to walk in my sleep and do this ‘stabby’ thing.”

1. “Care to tuck me in?”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.