10. He asks you what the word ‘itinerary’ means.

9. He recommends insurance naming him as the beneficiary.

8. He gets you a special deal on a Somali cruise.

7. He is skeptical that so-called “air travel” is even scientifically possible.

6. He wonders how you feel about traveling in the cargo hold.

5. For the second leg of your journey, from London to Amsterdam, he’s just penciled in “Any way you can get there.”

4. He brags that the very first flight he ever booked was for Buddy Holly.

3. The “meals included” at the Brussels hotel are just the mints on your pillow.

2. He asks if he can pack your luggage for you, but only if you promise to keep it a secret.

1. He hopes you won’t mind dropping him and his family off at the airport.
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

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