Top ten surprises in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Posted on July 13th, 2009 by Bob Sullivan
10. Harry admits he learned all his tricks from the Amazing Kreskin.
9. Harry’s latest supernatural power: levitating his pants.
8. Harry enters the 21st Century by trading in his broom for a vacuum cleaner.
7. Lord Voldemort is revealed to be Dick Cheney.
6. Harry is stripped of all his Quidditch medals when he tests positive for steroids.
5. Harry uses his cloak of invisibility to sneak into the girls’ locker room.
4. Harry is dating Susan Boyle.
3. Like in Star Wars, it turns out Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are brother and sister.
2. Alone, late at night, Harry likes to play with his magic wand.
1. It turns out Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are brother and sister.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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If Cheney is Voldemort, that would make Bush Wormtail…