10. $1.1 billion to make airport security even slower

9. $1.5 million to study the feasibility of harnessing the wind generated by Rush Limbaugh

8. $750,000 incentive given on condition that the Octomom “knock it off”

7. $300 million to acquire electric vehicles for the federal vehicle fleet, and another $300 million for really really long extension cords

6. $50 million for the newly created Commission for the Study of Stem-Cell Research and Presidential Cloning

5. $50,000 to enable Michael Phelps to continue his drug research

4. $1 million to put The Love Guru II into fast-track production

3. $10 million to build a Bridge Back from Nowhere

2. $15.35 to reinforce the levees in New Orleans

1. $50 billion to enable homeowners to afford their own tents

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts)

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• Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview - April 2, 2018

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