Entries Tagged as 'money'

Joshua Goldowsky blames a fictional charactermoney

Monty Brewster is to blame for out of control government spending

In Brewster’s Millions, Richard Pryor’s character Monty Brewster was given the challenge of spending $30 million in 30 days. If he was successful, he would get a $300 million inheritance from a long lost rich uncle. If he failed, he got nothing. The catch was that after 30 days, he could not have any possessions bought with the $30 million, and could return to the lawyers’ office with only the shirt on his back. (That shirt, coincidently enough, was a Chicago Cubs jersey.) The point, his deceased rich uncle told him via a pre-death recorded video, was to teach him to not squander money by making him so sick of spending money that he would think twice before doing it.

Apparently, the previous administration, as well as the current administration, have seen this movie and have subscribed to this method, hoping that if they spend enough money, a rich uncle — Sam? Mao? — will come up with the cash prize. [Read more →]

advicemoney

From roots to Choos: how do you fight your urge to splurge?

The study is out and the facts are in. Nearly 80% of a sampling of women surveyed in the UK (as stressed and recessed as anywhere else economically) admitted that they would still “splurge to cheer themselves up.”

According to Karen Pine, a University of Hertfordshire professor and author of “Sheconomics” (and soon-to-be-nominee for Author of Most Dumbass Title of the Year Award), “This type of spending, or compensatory consumption, serves as a way of regulating intense emotions.” [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmoney

Top ten ways General Motors plans to cut costs

10. Car radios are being replaced by old cell phones with ten different ringtones

9. No more lunch breaks for their assembly line robots

8. They’re just sticking a GM frame on top of a Tata Nano

7. Car goes from zero to sixty in a day and a half

6. Instead of brakes, it’s an anchor and a rope

5. All Saturns are being downgraded to Plutos

4. The seatbelts are duct tape

3. For their multi-million-dollar bonuses, top executives will get only 99 cents on the dollar

2. In an emergency, your air bag has to be blown up by mouth

1. Your warranty extends until you get the car off the lot

money

Tipping reform

I recently moved to a new apartment and gained an insight that just might save us from economic apocalypse. During the course of the move, the movers began to behave increasingly oddly. First, after agreeing to a credit card payment, they abruptly demanded cash. Then they demanded half of that cash halfway through the work. Then they revealed their overtime rates were greater than previously explained. My brother and I became increasingly frustrated, but didn’t really object (you feel weird low-balling someone who just hauled a couch to a fourth story walkup). We agreed to pretty much all of their demands, and when the truck was empty my brother went to settle the inflated tab, even tacking on a tip. [Read more →]

moneypolitics & government

Obama embraces cash position

Word on the Street is that Obama’s in cash. That’s right, contrary to earlier reports he’s not in guns, gold, and Geithner’s back pocket; further, we’re not talking “good as gold” blue-chip shares, inflation-linked bonds, or treasury notes. When asked about his failure to own good ol’ U-S-A treasury notes, Obama responded, “Would you invest in a country that owes over a trillion dollars and hasn’t built a decent car in thirty years?” [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmoney

Top ten signs you’ve hired a bad tax accountant

10. His last client was Willie Nelson.

9. All his calculations use “the finger method.”

8. His CPA license is handwritten in crayon.

7. He swears that “a bajillion” is a real number.

6. He keeps saying, “Audit, Schmaudit!

5. He advised Michael Phelps that he could deduct his weed money as an entertainment expense.

4. The name of his firm is “H & R Crock.”

3. He states unequivocally that you can claim your imaginary friends as dependents.

2. At the bottom of every page, he’s written “Give or take a thousand.”

1. He boasts that over ninety percent of his clients “have gotten away scot-free!”

money

Your TIPs for the Day

TIPs are inflation-protected securities provided to you by the American government although rumor has it you can purchase them in France, England, Canada, or even in variety packs. [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmoney

Top ten surprises in the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009

10. $1.1 billion to make airport security even slower

9. $1.5 million to study the feasibility of harnessing the wind generated by Rush Limbaugh

8. $750,000 incentive given on condition that the Octomom “knock it off”

7. $300 million to acquire electric vehicles for the federal vehicle fleet, and another $300 million for really really long extension cords

6. $50 million for the newly created Commission for the Study of Stem-Cell Research and Presidential Cloning

5. $50,000 to enable Michael Phelps to continue his drug research

4. $1 million to put The Love Guru II into fast-track production

3. $10 million to build a Bridge Back from Nowhere

2. $15.35 to reinforce the levees in New Orleans

1. $50 billion to enable homeowners to afford their own tents

conversations with Paula and Robertmoney

AIG: anger and reason

Robert: I have to say, Paula, the public outcry over the ridiculous bonuses to AIG executives strikes me as long, long overdue. I think Americans have reacted to brutal business practices sort of the way some women react to abusive men: They can’t help it. It goes with the territory. [Read more →]

moneysports

Bad sports, good sports: March Madness, Vegas style

For years, I traveled to Las Vegas with friends for the opening round of the NCAA basketball tournament. I know, some of you are wondering why you didn’t realize that they played the games in Vegas. They don’t. Our time in Vegas was spent in the sports book at Luxor, watching and betting on every game played during that opening weekend (there are 48 of them). There are 3 to 4 games on at a time for the whole weekend, aside from some minor breaks here and there. Drinks are free (tipping is necessary, of course), and food comes from the food court upstairs. The days would begin at 5 am, when someone would head down to the book to reserve some seats. [Read more →]

creative writingmoney

When Sally Met Suzy

Sally did not meet Suzy in a large auditorium where a nominal, fifty-dollar fee was charged. That pink event saved breast-cancer patients in Africa even as it rescued American women with professional degrees. But Sally met Suzy on the shelf of book. At a location near you, she saw all the other consumers attending to this section of the store, and she knew she ought to go there too. Wherever the others are, go there. Just because you would never go to that section doesn’t make it wrong, and if millions of purchasers were leaving the Super Bookstore in a state of euphoria, it couldn’t only be the cinnamon chai latte or French press at work. [Read more →]

moneytrusted media & news

The crisis of credit visualized

If you have 11 minutes and some questions about how the credit markets got the way they are, you might like to watch The Short and Simple Story of the Credit Crisis by Jonathan Jarvis.

The 11-minute-long video is interesting not only because it attempts to define some fairly complicated financial terminology and processes, but also because of how it attempts to do so.  Jarvis says, “This project was completed as part of my thesis work in the Media Design Program, a graduate studio at the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, California.”  Sure, it looks and sounds a bit like a PSA filmstrip from half a century ago.  But even ten years ago, what adult would have exposure to that sort of thing?

I find it fascinating to see this project specifically designed for the internet and aimed at adults.  As print newspapers are dying and the entire media industry is evolving to the new conditions of connectivity, this type of video may represent a large part of the future of educational journalism.

ends & oddmoney

Pay to pee: Ryanair may offer one more reason to borrow a pound note

As multinational corporations have expanded the variety of fees, charges, and incidental methods for slipping their fingers into your pockets, maybe you’ve naively thought that a few common courtesies would remain beyond their reach. Perhaps you’ve assured yourself that no company with a firm grasp on reality would cross certain boundaries and that a few simple courtesies would continue to be offered free of charge.

Then again, perhaps we’ll soon reach the point of no return, where every human act — even taking a whiz if you’ve had a little too much to drink — will become directly subject to some minor transaction fee.

Think I’m exaggerating? Check out Ryanair’s potential plan to charge European customers a pound or so to use the loo. Granted, cities like New York have already employed a similar strategy. But, let’s keep in mind that none of the five boroughs are enclosed spaces thousands of feet in the air.

Maybe, after all, those companies don’t have such a firm grasp on reality. Too bad there’s not a Bethlem Royal Hospital for corporations.

money

Cheater’s Row, take 1

Cheater’s Row:

Hi, my name is Alex Kudera and although I am running for President, certainly by 2023, I write today to humbly welcome you to my “blog in brief” Cheater’s Row. Our main concern will be the unethical, illegal, and more overtly theft-oriented aspects of American culture, so expect the current lineup of liars and cheats to get an ample share of our meager webspace.

But before we get into all of that, since we really don’t know each other — and therefore, I could be your broker — I thought I’d start with some inspired financial advice.

“Keep all assets liquid” is one of my favorite lines from “A Wife’s Story” by Bharati Mukherjee as well as sage advice offered by the Oracle of Oligarchs, George Soros. But rather than merely recommend you sell your house, rush your bank, sleep in a mobile home with cash and gold stuffed in your night shirt, I instead offer a more flexible approach.

In all cases, keep doing what you are doing!

1) If you are prone to live for the moment and spend it all anyway, keep living and spending! You’re not getting any younger and imagine what delight you can have blowing coin across town when the prudent stock investor next door has lost half his nut and is worried to tears or even death. Savor those moments when you caught his condescending frown as you returned from a shopping expedition laden with transient plastic possessions for your dining or living experience. [Read more →]

moneymovies

Should movie theaters charge admission based on budgets?

With all the cutbacks that are going on everywhere right now, I think it would make sense for movies to adopt a pricing system based on individual films.
  
I was recently lying in bed listening to a caller on sports talk radio discuss the fiscal advantages of big market teams like New York, Boston, and Los Angeles. Since those are the markets that tend to have the highest ticket prices, their attendance figures translate into big bucks for the franchises. Nobody questions the sanity of teams like Kansas City and Pittsburgh charging less, even though prices for baseball games and sporting events in general can still be considered ridiculous.
 
So why can’t the big theater chains like Loews and United Artists consider charging less for flicks based on budgets? You’re generally charged a flat fee at the theater. Whether you go see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Prom Night, it’s usually something like $10.50 in evenings, $6 for a matinee. Given the budget behind the former, it would make sense for the film to need more money per ticket in order to make back its costs. Movies with smaller budgets could charge less, and if they happen to be clunkers, they might even draw more eyeballs. Who’d pay $10.50 to go see The Hottie and The Nottie? Not many people, unless they were really bored. I know there are discount theaters out there and other places that specifically focus on indie films with low price tags attached, but with everyone doing their part in today’s economic climate, maybe it’s time the big boys of cinema thought about following suit… not that I’d expect the powers that be to ever allow such a thing to happen.
art & entertainmentmoney

I am a naughty, naughty blogger

Oops, that may not be the best title. Oh well, it’s been typed & I am not going back. When was my last post? I don’t know. I think I was writing about getting a band going & being over 35. Somehow, I have kept the band thing up (do you live in the greater Tampa Bay area & play drums? check out http://www.myspace.com/tragedybecomesher.) In some ways the band may be keeping me sane. So that was where I left off. And then I got all Jobed. Minus, you know, the boils. Suddenly I was on the brink of divorce, laid off & dealing with the possibility of foreclosure. Suddenly I was an episode of Oprah with lots of layers & no focus. I was at home with my son, trying to make his days full & happy. Mostly trying not to just cry all the time. Or at least shut the bathroom door.

The file is too big, or I would have cued Dr. Dog‘s song “The Beach” right here. [Read more →]

moneypolitics & government

How I’m going to spend Obama’s tax cut

I’ll share upfront, I like Barack Obama. I like the way he talks in front of an audience, his ability to motivate and inspire. I like his, “yes, we can!” and the whole hope thing. I tend not to trust politicians, Barack is a politician, but that doesn’t mean I can’t respect his delivery, his skills as a rhetorician. It doesn’t mean I can’t be inspired.

Having said that, I’ve decided what to do with my tax cut, the $13 a week everyone making under $75,000 will be allowed to keep come April; I’m going to give it away. [Read more →]

all workmoney

Layoffs keep coming — here’s hoping we keep our house

As I mentioned in a previous post, the changing economy has been relatively unkind to my family. In mid-December, I was laid off from a copy-editing job that had made small diversions like buying two or three books once in a while, eating out at a mid-priced restaurant, and seeing an occasional show feasible. Since then, the job market in Cincinnati has been — to be kind — brutal. Luckily, my wife still had a great job that made the necessities possible.

Then, last Tuesday, I got that long-awaited call. I had an interview. Maybe the economy here in Cincinnati wasn’t as bad as I had thought. Maybe the stimulus package and the housing bill had already started working its hermetic magic. Maybe, if the interview went well, my wife and I could once again look forward to the uncertain future.

[Read more →]

moneysports

The Obama line: What’s it all about, Babe?

We live in strange times, you and I. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer. Nothing is new that way. But the rich getting richer are doing so in almost unimaginable ways. And they’ve been doing it for so long that we don’t even question it anymore. In 1931 durng the brutal early months of the Great Depression, Babe Ruth was awarded an $80,000 contract by the New York Yankees. Ruth, who would retire four years later with a lifetime batting average of .342, on top of the all the home runs and all the strike outs, was asked by a reporter if the Babe deserved to be paid an annual salary worth $5,000 more than the President of the United States. Famously, the Bambino answered, “I had a better year than he did.”

Having a better year than Herbert Hoover in 1931 was the presidential equivalent of having a better year than (4-8) Phillies pitcher Adam Eaton in 2008. The difference is Hoover got voted out of office and Eaton got paid almost $8 million last year — 100 times what Babe Ruth was paid in 1931 and 20 times what Barack Obama will earn as President in 2009. As obscene as everything that went on on Wall Street that has collapsed before our eyes because of the greed that inspired it, we live in a Lala Land when it comes to what we pay professional athletes compared to, for instance, the president of the United States. Forget about you and me. What’s a President Obama worth? How much should he or any president get paid compared to an average ballplayer in any one of the major league sports?

The median or average salary of a Major League Baseball player is four times what the president makes, $400,000 a year. The only MLB club that pays its average players less, according to the USA Today database, is the Florida Marlins at $395,000. The average — the union scale — player in the NBA earns seven times more than the president. The NFL is modest by comparison. The average player in the National Football League makes two to three times what the president makes, which is not bad pay for offensive linemen. I was surprised to see that the average NHL player makes more than three times as much as the president. Let’s call it the Obama Line.

Let’s start keeping track of anyone’s salary — athletes, entertainers or bankers — as it compares to the annual salary of the President of the United States. If someone is being paid 700 points above the Obama Line, he’d better have a very good year.

 

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingmoney

Top ten things Wall Street executives plan to buy with their bonuses

10. Solid gold toilets, to replace their gold-plated ones.

9. More homes than John McCain can count.

8. A tree that really does grow money.

7. Diamonds on the soles of their shoes

6. Costa Rica

5. A real 100 Grand Candy Bar

4. A “World’s Wealthiest Man” coffee mug

3. Special glasses that block out the sight of “poor” people (6 figures or less annual income)

2. Their dignity (though they won’t have nearly enough cash).

1. More Congressman, to vote for their next round of bailouts.

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