Top ten leprechaun complaints
Posted on March 16th, 2009 by Bob Sullivan
10. Not tall enough to ride on Space Mountain
9. From the back, often being mistaken for Tom Cruise
8. Too many people asking, “Hey, where’s Snow White?”
7. Never cared for green beer
6. Too many people thinking that nasty Rumpelstiltskin is one of them
5. Found the title of the movie Little Women to be very misleading
4. Frequently kidnapped by people who think they’re garden gnomes
3. Complete lack of female leprechauns makes reproduction a bitch!
2. Job market sucks for the vertically challenged (well, it sucks for everybody, but the vertically challenged especially)
1. Hate being classified a “fairy”
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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