Top ten signs you’re on a bad spring break

Top ten signs you’re on a bad spring break

Posted on March 22nd, 2010 by Bob Sullivan

10. Your “exclusive beachside accommodations” have a half moon on the door

9. The only alcohol in your hotel is in the mouthwash

8. The “meal plan” is all you can catch with your bare hands

7. The only ‘girls’ you’ve seen all week have unusually large hands and Adam’s apples

6. You’ve spent most of it sitting on the runway waiting for your pilots to sober up

5. The closest thing you’ve gotten to a tan came from some poison ivy you sat in

4. When the travel agent told you you’d get some action, he never once mentioned the word ‘Afghanistan’

3. The guy running the Bungee jump doesn’t know how to subtract

2. The “ocean view” requires you to tune in to Channel 4

1. What you thought was a mint left on your pillow just crawled away

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.