Top ten more alcohol one-liners
10. When I saw the wino in the gutter eating grapes, I was like, “Hey, Bro, you gotta wait!”
9. Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
8. You can’t expect me to stick to my New Year’s resolution about giving up drinking, because I was drunk when I made it.
7. The later I get, the drunker it is.
6. Liquor and beer, never fear, but beer and liquor, yadda yadda yadda mugshot.
5. Every time I pour a round of drinks it goes all over the place, so I guess I need glasses.
4. When I say I’m a recovering alcoholic, I don’t mean that I’m giving up alcohol, but that I have a hangover.
3. A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the bartender gives her one.
2. I was so drunk last night that, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bar, I won the dance contest.
1. Hypnotists say they can cure alcoholism merely by implanting a subliminal idea in the drinker’s head, which is a sobering thought.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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