Top ten signs you’re at a bad New Year’s Eve party
Posted on December 28th, 2009 by Bob Sullivan
10. The only noisemaker involves the host and a can of beans
9. All Macarena, all the time!
8. When you come through the front door, you spot a large table and a 10,000-piece jigsaw puzzle
7. The only toast all evening involves actual bread
6. It breaks up at 11:45
5. Everyone is speaking Klingon
4. The “champagne” is really just ginger ale and Mentos
3. It’s just you and three Zhu Zhu Hamsters
2. It’s February 12th
1. You’re still waiting for your ball to drop
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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