Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtravel & foreign lands

Top ten signs you have a bad travel agent

10. He asks you what the word ‘itinerary’ means.

9. He recommends insurance that names him as the beneficiary.

8. He’s skeptical that so-called “air travel” is even scientifically possible.

7. He hopes you won’t mind dropping him and his family off at the airport.

6. He insists that ‘Austria’ and ‘Australia’ are just variant spellings for the same city.

5. For the second leg of your journey, from London to Amsterdam, he’s just penciled in “Any way you can get there.”

4. He brags that the very first flight he ever booked was for Amelia Earhart.

3. The “meals included” at the Brussels hotel are just the mints on your pillow.

2. He asks where you want to go, how long you’ll be gone, where you live, and whether or not you have a home security system.

1. He’s booked you on United Airlines, and made arrangements for two sky marshals to personally drag you to your seat..
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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