Top ten United Airline excuses
10. “We had no idea he was a doctor, because he wasn’t wearing scrubs and a stethoscope.”
9. “Our slogan is ‘Fly the Friendly Skies,’ but we were still on the ground.”
8. “All publicity is good publicity, as long as they spell your name right – and that’s ‘Airlines, with an ‘s’.”
7. “Our in-flight entertainment system was on the fritz, and we wanted to provide our passengers something with a bit of drama to it.”
6. “Of course we think United employees should get preference; after all, they’re United employees!”
5. “He refused to return his tray table to its full upright and locked position.”
4. “We had no idea other passengers would use their cell phones to take footage of the incident – that’s on them!”
3. “We offered him accommodations in an overhead compartment, but he refused.”
2. “The day before I gave the order, I massively shorted United Airlines stock.”
1. “Why do I get the feeling any excuse I give just won’t fly?”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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