Top ten answers to the question, “How cold is it?”
10. “It’s so cold, your car won’t start running and your nose won’t stop.”
9. “It’s so cold, my aunt accidentally tripped and keyed someone’s car with her nipple.”
8. “It’s so cold, you leave your freezer door open to help warm up the house.”
7. “It’s so cold, throwing a snowball is legally classified as ‘assault with a deadly weapon’.”
6. “It’s so cold, you have trouble jump-starting your penguin.”
5. “It’s so cold, my snowman got frostbite.”
4. “It’s so cold, I chipped a tooth on my soup.”
3. “It’s so cold, a big-rig driver from Alabama froze off his truck nuts.”
2. “It’s so cold, someone stole your aquarium’s four glass sides…and no one has noticed yet.”
1. “It’s so cold, Hell actually froze over — which helps explain Trump becoming President.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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