Top ten signs you’ve chosen a bad college

Top ten signs you’ve chosen a bad college

Posted on September 19th, 2016 by Bob Sullivan

10. There’s only one ‘L’ in ‘COLEGE’

9. All the professors are on some sort of work release program

8. The photo on the cover of the campus brochure is a shot of Kim Kardashian’s ass

7. The college insists that you pay your tuition up front, in cash, no large bills

6. When you ask if the college is well endowed, the school president pulls down his zipper

5. The school’s Latin motto is “Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis” (“Unencumbered by the Thought Process”)

4. Sociology professor + Groucho glasses = Calculus professor

3. The dean is being followed by a crew from 60 Minutes

2. Instead of the S.A.T., you just have to pass a urine test

1. It’s Trump University

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.