Top ten questions for the Butterball Hotline
10. “Why should I have to stuff a turkey if it’s not hollow to begin with?”
9. “If it says 450 degrees for six hours, would 900 degrees for three hours work as well?”
8. “How about 1,800 degrees for an hour and a half?”
7. “When I stuff a turkey, can I use any old stuff?”
6. “If the turkey is frozen, can I defrost it with a blowtorch?”
5. “How long do I have to microwave a 30-pound turkey?
4. “Can my electric carving knife cut through bone?”
3. “What about human bone?”
2. “If that little thing pops out on my turkey, does that mean it’s sexually aroused?”
1. “What if the turkey isn’t quite dead?”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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