Top ten answers to the question “How hot is it?”

Top ten answers to the question “How hot is it?”

Posted on August 3rd, 2015 by Bob Sullivan

10. “It’s so hot, Paris Hilton is sleeping with both Ben and Jerry.”

9. “It’s so hot, Dick Cheney was caught waterboarding himself.”

8. “It’s so hot, the supermarket aisle where the unpopped popcorn is kept is blocked by an avalanche of popped popcorn.”

7. “It’s so hot, a Republican actually broke down and admitted Global Warming is real.”

6. “It’s so hot, you recently agreed to become Mrs. Softee.”

5. “It’s so hot, in Colorado, Washington, Alaska and Oregon, joints are lighting themselves.”

4. “It’s so hot, Vladimir Putin has been stockpiling Slurpees.”

3. “It’s so hot, Chris Christie is drawing huge crowds, just for the shade.”

2. “It’s so hot, Pee-wee Herman is wearing his bowtie, and nothing else.”

1. “It’s so hot, I ran into a burning building, just to cool off.”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.