Top ten things you don’t want to hear at today’s Memorial Day barbecue
10. “These GMO burgers actually glow in the dark!”
9. “Those chicken breasts won’t burn; I coated them in Vaseline.”
8. “What’s Cousin Sid processing those Memorial Day poppies into?”
7. “Before you try the coleslaw, would you mind signing this waiver?”
6. “Why would someone route a Memorial Day Parade right through the middle of our barbeque?”
5. “Who invited Chris Christie? – and where’d all the steaks go?”
4. “On this Memorial Day, let us remember those people Memorial Day was designed to memorialize….It can’t be veterans; that’s Veterans Day!”
3. “That’s not mayonnaise; you’re standing under a tree.”
2. “Uncle Harvey, I think the tradition is to lower your flag to half-mast, not your pants to half-assed.”
1. “Why does everything on the grill have a long thin tail?”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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