Top ten excuses of the London man who was found having sex with his toaster
10. “That toaster was way hot!”
9. “The instructions only cautioned against sticking in knives and forks.”
8. “I heard it gave really good bread!”
7. “The toaster was asking for it. She looked like a real slot!”
6. “I was wearing a condom, so I wasn’t worried about getting KitchenAids.”
5. “I thought it would be safer than using the microwave.”
4. “When I got home from the bar, I was really toasted!”
3. “I was just trying to brown my Panini.”
2. “I heard somewhere that ‘They plump when you cook ’em’.”
1. “I was trying to make my juicer jealous.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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