Top ten signs you’re having a bad summer

Top ten signs you’re having a bad summer

Posted on August 19th, 2013 by Bob Sullivan

10. You’ve lost so much blood from mosquito bites, they’ve stopped biting you

9. Your neighborhood swimming pool has banned you, because of your weak bladder

8. The B&B you’re staying at evidently stands for ‘bed’ and ‘bugs’

7. Due to hard-of-hearing travel agent, instead of Cancun you wound up in Kabul

6. You caught crabs at the beach – but not the edible kind

5. You have no idea who Carlos is, but you woke up with his name tattooed on your upper arm

4. Your hair hasn’t grown back since that Fourth of July incident

3. Because of too much sun, your face is redder than the Disney executive who greenlighted The Lone Ranger

2. The lemonade stand you frequent was just raided by the Board of Health

1. First name ‘Paula’, last name ‘Deen’

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.