Top ten good things about having the flu
10. You can curl up on the couch and catch up on your “stories”
9. No one will come near you, so you’re much less likely to catch someone else’s cold
8. With a high enough fever, Adam Sandler actually starts seeming funny again
7. You can sneeze on everybody you hate
6. When members of the opposite sex avoid you like the plague, you have an excuse
5. It’s nice to be able to call into work sick and actually sound sick for a change
4. If you’re a misanthrope, problem solved
3. You can give pet names to your parasites
2. You can pound back a pitcherful of NyQuil
1. You like it when people say you’re “hot,” even if they’re only feeling your forehead
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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