Top ten signs your home could use a spring cleaning

Top ten signs your home could use a spring cleaning

Posted on May 14th, 2012 by Bob Sullivan

10. You have more empty takeout containers than P.F. Chang’s

9. You’ve lost three pets to indoor avalanches

8. Your refrigerator mold and your oven mold are caught in a life-and-death struggle

7. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses won’t come inside

6. You check to make sure cheese isn’t supposed to fizzle

5. Your bathroom has hot and cold running roaches

4. When you accidentally moved your Christmas tree, you finally found out where Gramps has been all this time

3. The odor has that certain ‘skunk-in-an-outhouse-getting-a-perm’ mystique

2. Your “bean bag chair” is made of accumulated lint

1. Your “dust bunnies” are actually breeding

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.