Top ten answers to the question “How cold is it?”
10. It’s so cold, you have trouble jump-starting your penguin
9. It’s so cold, you’re shivering like Rick Santorum at a Gay Pride parade
8. It’s so cold, when Wall Street investors jumping off buildings hit the sidewalk, they shatter into a million tiny pieces
7. It’s so cold, Osama bin Laden actually saw a snowball where he is
6. It’s so cold, Michele Bachmann’s husband is staying in the closet – for the coats
5. It’s so cold, nobody’s calling the fire department when their house catches on fire
4. It’s so cold, when police tell a robber to freeze, it’s redundant
3. It’s so cold, five rednecks have frozen off their truck nuts
2. It’s so cold, Anthony Weiner is Tweeting pictures of his mukluks
1. It’s so cold, you’re teeth won’t stop chattering – and they’re still in the glass
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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