Top ten signs your film won’t be nominated for an Academy Award
10. It’s Larry the Cable Guy’s first dramatic turn
9. Your movie was the basis for the television show “Working It”
8. It stars either Smurfs, gnomes, or chipmunks
7. The opening and the closing credits meet in the middle
6. The jury at Cannes recommended the death penalty
5. It’s called Incredibly Quiet and Extremely Far Away
4. During its in-flight run, people kept walking out
3. Like The Artist, it’s a silent film, but only due to a technical error
2. Instead of Meryl Streep, it stars Merle Haggard
1. In his review, Roger Ebert said he wished he had more than two thumbs to put down
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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