Top ten signs your new year is off to a bad start
10. Your New Year’s kiss left smudge marks on your mirror
9. Your wife’s resolution was to give up you
8. You recently invested all your money with some Italian guy named Ponzi
7. You’re Michele Bachmann
6. You accidentally watched that new TV show about two dudes in dresses
5. You just woke up from your 2010 New Year’s Eve party
4. You started the new year with ten fingers and toes – now, not so many
3. You can still hear that firecracker someone set off near your head on New Year’s Eve
2. Last year your company went paperless; this year they’re going peopleless
1. You’re still writing “2011” on all your death threats
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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