My top ten new year’s resolutions
Posted on January 2nd, 2012 by Bob Sullivan
10. I resolve to finish that pro-Catholic pornographic musical I’ve been working on
9. I resolve to eat my weight in marzipan
8. I resolve to finally find Waldo
7. I resolve to keep my ambitions within reach
6. I resolve to solve world hunger
5. I resolve to e-mail back that Nigerian prince who keeps trying to contact me
4. I resolve to think of another password for my computer besides ‘password’
3. I resolve to drive by a gym at least three times a week
2. I resolve to keep all my resolutions to myself this year
1. I resolve to limit my number of resolutions to nine
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR, Bob! I resolve to continue visiting WFTC every Monday. Your “Top 10” posts (and Alan’s “Good Sports, Bad Sports” posts) have been regular weekly stops of mine, and I’m looking forward to more in 2012.