10. “It’s so hot, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s having an affair with the counter lady at Baskin-Robbins.”

9. “It’s so hot, Dick Cheney was caught waterboarding himself.”

8. “It’s so hot, street people are making their own gravy.”

7. “It’s so hot, Charlie Sheen tested positive for Slurpees.”

6. “It’s so hot, I saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner.”

5. “It’s so hot, former IMF boss Dominique Strauss-Kahn said he was looking forward to spending some time in the cooler.”

4. “It’s so hot, chickens are laying omelets.”

3. “It’s so hot, my car’s GPS lady keeps directing me towards Canada.”

2. “It’s so hot, Hillary Clinton’s been wearing her pantsuit without the pants.”

1. “It’s so hot, Anthony Weiner actually appreciates his wife giving him the cold shoulder.”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

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