Top ten signs you are too old to be playing Major League Baseball

Top ten signs you are too old to be playing Major League Baseball

Posted on August 15th, 2011 by Bob Sullivan

10. When you slide into second, you misplace your hip

9. Willie Mays helped you with your stance

8. You’re the only outfielder with a walker

7. When you get to first, you ask for directions to second

6. You get winded standing for The National Anthem

5. Your rookie card is in black and white

4. When buying steroids, you try to get an AARP discount

3. Instead of pine tar on your bat, you’re using Poligrip

2. When everyone else is having their Seventh Inning Stretch, you’re taking your Seventh Inning Nap

1. You try to run around the bases on your Rascal Scooter

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.