Top ten excuses of Richard Elwood Sanden of Ohio, charged with having sex with a corpse

Top ten excuses of Richard Elwood Sanden of Ohio, charged with having sex with a corpse

Posted on March 21st, 2011 by Bob Sullivan

10. “I just thought she was the silent type.”

9. “It was a female corpse; I’m not a pervert or anything!”

8. “The mortician did such a good job, she wasn’t just ‘lifelike,’ she was ‘hot!’”

7. “I thought she was exaggerating when she said she was ‘dead on her feet’.”

6. “It was like she was holding her breath in anticipation.”

5. “My buddies insisted I dig up a date for the senior prom.”

4. “I’m really into recycling!”

3. “After a hard day at work, there’s nothing more relaxing than coming home and cracking open a cold one.”

2. “All those flowers put me in a romantic mood.”

1. “I just love a girl who can’t say ‘No’.”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.