Marty Digs: Chick-fil-A
I made the tragic error yesterday that I have made many times before this — I foolishly tried to go to Chick-fil-A on a Sunday. As you may or may not know (and if you don’t know, please remove yourself from under that rock and brush the dirt and ignorance off), Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays.
It is a practice started by the company founder S. Truett Cathy way back in the progressive 1940’s (around the same time it was OK for Catholic priests to touch boys, and I’m not a history guy, but probably around the same time women got the right to vote). He claims the decision is “as much practical as spiritual. And all employees should have an opportunity to rest, spend time with family and friends, and worship if they choose to do so.” Well, Mr. Cathy, how does that help me? The compassion you have for your employees making $5.25 an hour working over a deep fryer full of sizzling peanut oil does not put nuggets in my stomach on a Sunday.
I am sure there is some ambitious, over-zealous yuppie at Chick-Fil-A headquarters that is furious about this as well. I can just see him in a board meeting, blue tooth stuck in ear, swinging around his double mocha latte’, and arguing about how much potential profit is lost by being closed on Sundays. Mr. Cathy is the 236th richest man in the United States, but surely he would bump up a few notches if they have one more day of operation per week. I bet this yuppie is rubbing his hands together in anticipation for the day this Bible thumping, caring, kind, gentle old man dies. And when he does, who knows? Maybe God will be pissed off at him come Judgment Day. I can hear the word of God now — “S. Truett, some of my greatest followers could have done more or served the world better had they only been able to enjoy a crispy chicken sandwich on the Sabbath. Shame on you my son!” Now wouldn’t this old man feel like a complete dick if that happened!
I have to say, it is definitely the most disheartening thing to pull up to a Chick-fil-A and see it closed. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, when they were really only in malls, it was always so depressing to see the shuttered, dark confines of the Chick-fil-A in the Food Court. And now that they have stand-alone stores, it is just as bad. And I never learn my lesson. I have probably forgotten about the rule and shown up to a Chick-fil-A more times than George Lopez uses the word Latino in his monologue. If you have seen the show, shame on you first off because it’s awful; second, you know that’s a hell of a lot of times. Mr. Lopez, I implore you — stop the knocking and self-deprecating joking about the ways of your people. Leave that stuff to the Irish; we are the professionals.
And to Mr. S. Truett Cathy, please open your stores up on Sunday. You are pissing off an entire nation of deep-fried-chicken-loving citizens and also possibly God!
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Bravo to Mr. Cathy and Chic-Fil-A for their policy! And bravo, too for their kids’ meals toys that offer some alternative to something that might actually entertain a kid, rather than just hyping the latest movie.
I had a very similar thought a few weeks ago. Mr. Cathy is, indeed, a smart business person as EVERYONE craves chicken on Sundays, and must make the breakfast line on Monday worth the wait.
What do you think?
http://bit.ly/ah5Xz7
O’Connor: narcissistic jack-wagon. Your question “How does that help me?” epitomizes so much of what is wrong with the generation who were told that the world really is all about you, and you should get a trophy for showing up.
It is none of your business, and by that I mean it is none of your business why he decides to be closed on Sunday.
Good luck with your life typing away in your mom’s basement and criticizing successful men of character. Hope that works out for you…
From your photo I would guess that your mom needs to feed you more vegetables anyway, but that is just my opinion.
Leland
merry Christmas Leland from my mom’s basement! I hope she brings the heater down for me and makes me hot chocolate. She better put marshmallows in it this time!
Nice Leland. First things first. A jackwagon was used to refer to someone behind the times. You’ve called Marty out of touch and then made a comment on what’s wrong with people today.
I read Marty’s posts all the time for a laugh during my work week. It’s good stuff. Don’t come on here spouting off about what’s wrong with this generation. It’s a drag and no one cares what you have to say. Find another outlet.
Ps I’m writing this from your mom’s basement. She says hi.
Leland – I think Dank said it best, but you simply sound like a bitter old man. Don’t you have anything better to do than type away at 1:03am on a Wednesday morning? I am assuming you are some old yuppie-wanna-be b@stard reading the Forbes.com feed. I further assume you are miserable and typing away on a dilapidated beige radio shack keyboard with crumbs between the keys and cheap scotch on your breath. What is so heroic about the ‘boomers’ or the ‘greatest generation’? Everyone fought in wars?!? Ah c’mon, son. Give it a rest. Leave Marty alone and hold the comments about vegetables. We just want to eat some good chicken on Sundays.
Leland – you are what is wrong with society, not simply a generation. You are all theory and no action. You sit around claiming what is wrong with a generation, yet you do nothing about it. You criticize someones work then flee, afraid to respond to any criticism. I remember using the whole “none of your business” argument when I was in middle school. I tried it with my six year old cousin last week when he kept asking me what I was drinking, he guessed it was beer. Wouldn’t you know it?
Obivously what Marty is doing is working out for him, seeing as how Forbes feed most likely brought you, as well as many others, here. The most read post you have ever had is on this page. I think you should show some gratititude to him, as no-one will ever pay this much attention to you again. In the last 48 hours you have been given more attention by strangers than your family, ex-wife, and six cats who stopped showing you affection when they realized you never bathed. This attention is what you so badly crave. This is why you search the internet trying to find other peoples writing and hang on their coat tails in attempts to fill that gaping void left by your mother’s lack of desire to continue breast-feeding a 23 year old.
Congratulations, Leland, you are a tool.
Marty,
I JUST discovered this site. This piece made me laugh out loud a few times — thanks for that! And wow — I can’t believe the hostile comment; too bad some people are too obtuse to understand humor. Nice job not sinking to his level!