Top ten signs you are too old to be playing Major League Baseball

Top ten signs you are too old to be playing Major League Baseball

Posted on July 19th, 2010 by Bob Sullivan

10. Your locker mate in the Minors was Ty Cobb.

9. Your seeing-eye dog won’t stop barking at the catcher.

8. Instead of using pine tar on your bat, you’re using Super Poligrip.

7. You ask the hot dog vendor if he’s got any prunes.

6. You’re older than the hot dogs he’s selling.

5. Instead of a stretch, you opt for the Seventh Inning Nap.

4. After you slide into third, you can’t get up again.

3. When you get to first, you ask the first baseman, “Which way’s second?”

2. You get winded standing up for The National Anthem.

1. After several practice swings in the on-deck circle, you realize what you’re actually swinging is your cane.

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.