Dramatis Personae
Terry O’Neill, President of NOW
Rahm Emanuel, White House Chief of Staff
O’NEILL: Hello. We in the pro-choice community feel — in light of Pam and Tim Tebow’s horrific and offensive Super Bowl ad, where they ignorantly glorify the choice of life — that we must respond, by encouraging all pregnant women in crisis to make the one and only correct choice. [Read more →]
As soon as I learned of the title of Lost’s Season 6 premiere episode last year, I immediately began to wonder about its implications. Sure, the LA X was a reference to LAX, the abbreviation for Los Angeles International Airport where Oceanic Flight 815 was suppose to land, but why was there a space between the “LA” and the “X”? Like everything on Lost, surely this play on letters was for a reason. [Read more →]
When most 23 year-olds claim to have had a good year, “good year” usually means a college graduation, a blooming engagement or gainful employment that doesn’t involve phrases like “sweater vest” ,”deep fryer”, and “temp agency”. With epic record sales, roof-shattering concerts, and admiration from even Barbra Walters, saying Lady Gaga had a “good year” is like saying Bernie Madoff had a bad one. [Read more →]
April 7, 2009
I dream Richard Schechner organizes a performance festival to be held on the top floor of the Empire State Building. It is my privilege and pleasure to participate. Then, when the show is over, I get a phone call and Richard tells me someone wants to talk to me. I figure, he found one of my old friends who wants to surprise me. It turns out it’s David Letterman calling on the show. I explain to Dave what we’ve been doing at the festival, and I tell him about my mind reading skills. Letterman is gracious and kind.
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Contrary to what I feared, I was not the last person in the United States to see the 3D IMAX version of Avatar. The theater was packed and Avatar continues to rule the box office. But for me, Avatar was a first — the first time I cried at a movie while wearing 3D glasses. It will take me weeks to process that one. I knew the special effects were, as a friend of mine said, “game changers,” but I didn’t expect the moving story and first rate performances from lesser known actors. I know this film is manipulative, but it manipulated me so well that I didn’t resent it; I just sat back and enjoyed the ride. [Read more →]
Feel like a chump nowadays? Mark Morford’s disappointment is better than yours:
My God, did you hear that pathetic State of the Union? That guy, that President Obama? Disappointing times a thousand, am I right? What the hell happened to him? Why is he so weak and ineffectual? Why the hell can’t he step up and fix the entire planet in under 400 days like he promised he would, in my dreams and fantasies and impossible liberal grass-fed organic tofu greengasms? Doesn’t he know I put a goddamn bumper sticker on my Subaru for him? I’ve never done that for anyone. Bastard.
Heartbreaking.
I have always loved Joyce Carol Oates’ writing. I love her combination of long, flowing sentences and short, choppy fragments. Little Bird of Heaven
Krista Diehl’s family was fine before “the trouble” came. Her father, Eddy, ran a construction company. A handsome man, he was well-known around town as a bit of a flirt and a bit of a drinker. Her mother, Lucille, a stay at home mom, her teenaged brother, Ben. A happy family until trouble came along in the form of Zoe Kruller. Zoe was small-town beautiful — she had an exotic name, she was everyone’s favorite at the ice cream shop, she sang with a little rock band on Saturday summer nights at the town bandstand. When she is found murdered — strangled in her bed — the prime suspects are her estranged husband, Delray, and her lover, Eddy Diehl. [Read more →]
One usually hears Judaism, Christianity, and Islam referred to as “the three great monotheistic religions.” Apparently, however, that noted deity Yahweh would disagree: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20, 2-3).
That second verse is a simple imperative; there really is no way of reading it other than literally. Yahweh acknowledges the existence of other gods besides himself. [Read more →]
Read it and WEEP, Righties! From the low on December 22nd this is a recovery of eighty-one percent! Give or take. Hey, what is a rounding error among friends? Or enemies? Of course there are some complications. [Read more →]
Pawn Stars/American Pickers (Monday, History Channel) — While the rest of America was tuning in to the NBC late-night television Conan/Leno debacle, in addition to watching the funniest late night host of them all, Chelsea Handler, I was watching my other late-night guilty pleasures… on the History channel. Uh huh, you heard me correctly. It all started one night with Pawn Stars. How I came across it, I do not know… but thank goodness I did because I love it. [Read more →]
When Governor David Paterson appointed Rep. Kirsten E. Gillibrand as New York’s junior U.S. Senator last year to replace Hillary Clinton, most New Yorkers had never heard of the upstate Congresswoman. They were just glad the ordeal was over. The selection process, which included a lengthy and undignified public dangling of Caroline Kennedy, was a disaster for both the unqualified Ms. Kennedy and the inept Governor. Now the power elites are scrambling to keep Gillibrand in office in the face of a new challenge: Harold E. Ford Jr., lately of Tennessee, who has suddenly discovered that he is an ambitious New York pol. [Read more →]
The NFL Pro Bowl is a waste of time. This is not a revolutionary statement, by the way. Most All-Star games are less than thrilling events, but the Pro Bowl is the worst of the lot. The rules are different, there is very little real hitting, and the game is at the end of the season, when no one really cares anymore. Even the players don’t seem to care, judging by the number of players that beg out of the game every year. Still, being selected to the game is an honor, and it is fair to expect the players to show at least a little bit of interest in the festivities. That message does not seem to have made it to Bryant McKinnie of the Minnesota Vikings, who was dismissed from the Pro Bowl on Saturday. [Read more →]
I keep forgetting that it is winter for most of you… as it is amazing here. However, I am not gloating because I know it will be God-awful come summer. God-awful.
Let’s see, what else has been happening on this fun extravaganza known as Africa? Oh, ummm, have any of you ever heard of some movie called Avatar? I hear it’s pretty big right now. We don’t get any commercials here and I don’t watch any news so I have no clue what is happening back home. In fact, I hear there is some big event happening next Sunday… some kind of bowl game or something? Anyway, they showed the movie here yesterday and are showing it again tonight. I wasn’t able to see it yesterday as I had two final papers to write… I know… war is hell.
Oh and Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, some older actor guy, and some older producer guy all came here. [Read more →]
10. It’s so cold, people are hugging Ted Williams’s head just to keep warm
9. It’s so cold, aquariums no longer really need the glass
8. It’s so cold, flashers are running up to women in Central Park and just describing themselves
7. It’s so cold, it would be colder than Glenn Beck’s heart — if he had one
6. It’s so cold, the Statue of Liberty decided to hold her torch under her robe
5. It’s so cold, Rod Blagojevich was spotted with his hands in his own pockets
4. It’s so cold, all Sarah Palin could see from Alaska was more snow
3. It’s so cold, people are hanging around the set of The View just for the artificial warmth
2. It’s so cold, a temperature was actually recorded that was colder than the shoulder Tiger Woods’s wife is giving him
1. It’s so cold, Al Gore came out in favor of global warming
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
My headline is a more accurate representation of the information about President Obama’s plans to overhaul No Child Left Behind, as presented in the New York Times.
