10. “I don’t know which I enjoy more, the Pomp or the Circumstance.”

9. “That’s weird: somebody’s replaced the Canadian National Flag with a picture of a leaf!”

8. “I never realized North America contained a country besides the United States.”

7. “I’m really looking forward to that new event, Cross-Country Skating!”

6. “Cripes! I’ve seen more snow on the shoulder of a Head & Shoulders user!”

5. “Rumor has it that one of the male figure skaters might be gay.”

4. “It’s so embarrassing when you just can’t get your torch up!”

3. “What’s the venue for the Freestyle Zamboni?”

2. “Rumor has it that k. d. lang might be gay.”

1. “I didn’t know Georgia was a country now! Did it secede from the Union? Again?”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

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