Top ten things the Pilgrims would say if they were alive today

Top ten things the Pilgrims would say if they were alive today

Posted on November 23rd, 2009 by Bob Sullivan

10. “This turkey tastes a little off. What breed did you say it was, ‘tofu’?”

9. “What time do the Indians arrive?”

8. “Well, I think thine clothes look equally as ridiculous!”

7. “And you can get advice on cooking your bird from that handheld talking machine?!”

6. “Big deal! So your ancestors came over on the Mayflower!”

5. “When we knew John McCain, of course, we called him ‘Little Johnny’.”

4. “Jebediah, look! Their leader appears to be a Native American!”

3. “There is no need to struggle! Why do you not just share the wishbone?!”

2. “Celebrating with giant balloons of cartoon animals! Why didn’t we think of that?!

1. “Hey! Let us out of this box! It’s dark in here!”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.