The contributors of When Falls the Coliseum are an intelligent bunch, providing us with thought-provoking posts on a regular basis, covering politics, sports, parenting and book reviews, among other topics. Therefore, it is my duty to ensure that the useless, mindless discussions stay alive amidst all of this intellect. Because if the stay-at-home moms of the world, such as myself, won’t keep the stupidity alive, then who will?

Yes, I know, at-home mothers are smart and valuable members of society. We are talented and ambitious. We have important things to add to the national conversation. And we are performing the hardest job on earth. How do I know this? Oprah said so.

In an effort to add to the public dialogue, I thought I’d recap what I consider some of the more important events in recent news.

The week began with our beloved Oprah Show featuring Ellen DeGeneres. Two icons for the price of one: the soul-searching Oprah with the fun-loving Ellen. Oprah’s words have become practically an addendum to the Bible, and Ellen can incite a religious revival just by dancing among her audience. Together, they can change the world. And didn’t you love how they became BFFs after the December O, The Oprah Magazine cover shoot? (Sigh.) Ellen is the new Gayle.

On Tuesday, Carrie Prejean threw a fit on Larry King Live after he asked her questions about the deal she made with Miss California USA, following reports of an alleged sex tape. She accused Larry of being “inappropriate”, then removed her microphone and claimed she could no longer hear him. No doubt she is beautiful, but not too much going on upstairs. It’s not surprising, then, that her hero is Sarah Palin.

Speaking of the Palins, our boy Levi Johnston is spending his week posing for Playgirl magazine. His manager tells us that the spread features Levi and a conveniently placed hockey stick. It’s hard to say if we should be salivating over this or retching.

Lastly, we’re waiting with bated breath for the book release, Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Finally we will learn the true story behind Brad’s secret meetings with ex-wife Jennifer Aniston and the extent of Angelina Jolie’s craziness. This is some serious reading for those of us who are serious about reading. Do you think our own book reviewer Lisa Hura will critique this tome? I didn’t think so.

There you have it, folks – all the mind-numbing news you never knew you never needed to know. Be sure to continue following the other highly-esteemed and accomplished contributors who will keep you informed on the more intelligent topics of the week. I might have to take some time off. I’ll be too busy reading Brangelina.

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