Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Bill O’Reilly’s top ten good things about slavery

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10. When they were building the White House, they were “well fed”

9. They “had decent lodgings provided by the government”

8. Many of them got a free sea cruise before arriving in America

7. They didn’t have to pay income taxes

6. Their cramped overcrowded lodgings encouraged cameraderie

5. Frequently, owners would deign to have sex with them

4. Their situation led to the creation of many deeply moving Negro spirituals; which led to the creation of blues, jazz, and boogie-woogie; which led to the creation of rock and roll

3. Free on-the-job training

2. They got to spend time in our nation’s capital

1. They were finally safe from lions, hyenas, cheetahs and elephants
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

art & entertainmentbooks & writing

Added to my e-bookshelf … Professor Challenger: New Worlds, Lost Places

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In the course of a prolific career that traversed a wide variety of genre, British writer Arthur Conan Doyle created – for me, at least – three singular characters. Over time, those three have achieved varying degrees of popularity and shelf-presence.

I have read all of Doyle’s stories of detective Sherlock Holmes, and almost all his stories of Brigadier Etienne Gerard. In contrast, I have read only one of his Professor George Edward Challenger stories … but what a wonderful story it was! And I am not at all surprised that it provided much of the foundation for “Professor Challenger: New Worlds, Lost Places” a collection of short stories inspired by Doyle’s brilliant, headstrong and physical academician.
[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingeducation

Top ten signs you’ve chosen a bad college

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10. There’s only one ‘L’ in ‘COLEGE’

9. All the professors are on some sort of work release program

8. The photo on the cover of the campus brochure is a shot of Kim Kardashian’s ass

7. The college insists that you pay your tuition up front, in cash, no large bills

6. When you ask if the college is well endowed, the school president pulls down his zipper

5. The school’s Latin motto is “Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis” (“Unencumbered by the Thought Process”)

4. Sociology professor + Groucho glasses = Calculus professor

3. The dean is being followed by a crew from 60 Minutes

2. Instead of the S.A.T., you just have to pass a urine test

1. It’s Trump University
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

books & writingcreative writing

The Writer’s Parents

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“They were like all other parents. My mother liked to feed us. My father liked to take pictures.”

from The Lazarus Project by Aleksandar Hemon

Recent news of Lionel Shriver donning a sombrero to protest identity politics in the creative-writing world reminded me of Jenny Zhang’s Buzzfeed response to white poet Michael Derrick Hudson’s use of the Chinese pen name Yi-Fen Chou to wiggle his way into a Best of American Poetry collection.

I ignored the controversy over cultural appropriation but “took” from the Zhang essay to compare and contrast her parents’ fear of a child’s future as a writer to my own parents’ feelings about my choices. [Read more →]

recipes & food

Love is in the air …

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… well, green chile, actually … same thing.

For me, September is one of those times where something touches and excites the senses, bringing fond memories to the surface, and setting me on the path to add yet another page to that particular ‘fond memory’ archive.

It’s chile-roasting time in the southwest … and love truly is in the air … well, for me, at least!
[Read more →]

race & culturesports

T-shirts at a high school football game (or, Maximum America)

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Our local high school football team’s name: Redskins. Yes, of course, I know it’s a controversial name across the country, and it’s been controversial locally on and off over the years (more off than on, currently — anyway, I’m not in charge of these things). This area of Pennsylvania is replete with native history and references. Last night, the Redskins hosted the visiting Indians. As I said, replete.

Like many other people, a dad attending the game was wearing a shirt that said Redskins. He was Indian. As in, from India. (I’m pretty sure — I didn’t ask.)

There was also a white guy with a seriously bushy beard wearing a shirt with an American flag on it and the words Undefeated World War Champion.

I don’t know what all this means, maybe something about melting pots or the circle of life, but it seems important.

The Redskins defeated the Indians 43-7.

educationvirtual children by Scott Warnock

“A” for everything? Maybe not quite

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Grade inflation is a popular topic (at least on Google, where the term gives you a quarter million+ hits). A recent article in Inside Higher Ed titled “Grade Inflation, Higher and Higher” examined again a subject that seems to annoy almost everyone. [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtelevision

Top ten signs you’re not going to win an Emmy next Sunday night

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10. Your performance has been described as “Sandler-esque”

9. Contestants on Bowling for Dollars aren’t eligible

8. Your show only appeared on YouTube, and starred Mr. Whiskers

7. You were a writer for Hollywood Game Night

6. Your pilot for Law & Order: U.S. Postal Inspection Service never made it to air

5. Your reality show is all about your family-operated business called Duck Commander

4. As a C.S.I. corpse, you were never given the opportunity to show your full range as an actor

3. Donald Trump is somehow involved

2. Outstanding Lead Actor in a Boner Pill Commercial isn’t a category

1. You’re a Kardashian
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

religion & philosophyterror & war

My problem with Patriot Day

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It’s been just under fifteen years, now, that Joint Resolution 71 passed through the U.S. House of Representatives, then the U.S. Senate, then was signed into by law President George Bush, proclaiming September 11 as Patriot Day. This followed President Bush’s proclamation of September 14, 2001 – just three days after the horrific terrorist attacks of ‘9/11’ – as a National Day of Prayer and Remembrance. Personally, I think President Bush had the right idea in that proclamation, perhaps realizing that there was more to what we experienced that terrible day – and the days and years that followed – than just patriotism. [Read more →]

virtual children by Scott Warnock

Stop trying to steal my summer

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Maybe it’s because I work at Drexel. We are a different school in many ways, especially because we’re on the quarter system. We’re shifted off a month from other universities. While most freshmen go off to college at the end of August, Drexel students nervously wait for weeks. In June, when everyone else has been done for a month, we’re in finals season. So maybe I’m schedule-weird, but I  really want people to stop trying to steal my summer. [Read more →]

all workBob Sullivan's top ten everything

In honor of Labor Day, top ten worst jobs in the United States

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10. Hillary Clinton’s IT guy

9. Duck Dynasty beard de-tangler

8. Republican fact checker

7. Amish air conditioner repairman

6. Roger Ailes’s lotion boy

5. Apprentice crackwhore

4. Public pool pee monitor

3. Suicide bomber

2. Hooker at Comic-Con 2016

1. Donald Trump’s PR guy
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtravel & foreign lands

Top ten signs you’ve had a bad summer

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10. The B&B you stayed at evidently stood for ‘bed’ and ‘bugs’

9. What everyone else thought was a sunburn was actually a rash

8. You got a “TRUMP 2016” facial tattoo

7. You were the only person at your resort not wearing a yellow hazmat suit

6. You lost so much blood from mosquito bites, they actually stopped biting you

5. You got kicked out of your luxury hotel because you were lying stark naked on your bed when the maid walked in…finally!

4. You caught crabs at the beach – but not the edible kind

3. You thought the summer camp you were applying to was named after the ancient Egyptian goddess Isis

2. Your eyebrows haven’t grown back since the Fourth of July

1. First name ‘Ryan’, last name ‘Lochte’
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtravel & foreign lands

Top ten signs your lifeguard is nuts

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10. He won’t give you mouth-to-mouth unless he takes you to dinner first

9. He’s declared himself “King of the Ocean” and sits atop his lifeguard tower wearing an ermine-lined cloak and holding a scepter

8. He has a tendency to throw drowning people the wrong kind of Life Saver, and prefers peppermint

7. Instead of rubbing sunblock on his nose, he uses vanilla pudding

6. He prefers sitting with his back to the ocean

5. He’ll only use his defibrillator to heat his tacos

4. He’s dating his CPR dummy

3. He’s wearing a lifeguard whistle. Period.

2. Whenever someone is drowning, he tries to run towards them in slow motion, because that’s how they run on Baywatch

1. He likes to be buried in the sand up to his neck…headfirst
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

books & writing

Added to my e-bookshelf … Tesseracts Eighteen: Wrestling With Gods

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Don’t let the title of Wrestling with Gods, a collection of short stories and poems assemble by Liana Kerzner and Jerome Stueart, fool you. It DOES provide an overlying theme for this latest installment of the Tesseracts series … but it provides only a hint of what the reader will find inside. [Read more →]

educationvirtual children by Scott Warnock

NJ Board of Ed blows it on PARCC test

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Can you dunk a basketball? If not, you are below expectations, because my expectation is that you should be able to. I don’t care if you’re short or are a great soccer player. I don’t care that there aren’t b-ball hoops in your neighborhood. You better find a dunking-specific coach and get to work. And so we have the PARCC test and its mysterious expectations. Yet the New Jersey State Board of Education still recently voted 6-0-1 to make PARCC a graduation requirement by 2020. [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten Donald Trump nicknames

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10. Tronald Dump

9. Hair Hitler

8. Trumpageddon

7. OranguTAN

6. Darth Hater

5. Our Future Impeached President

4. Der Furor

3. Doll Hands

2. Forrest Trump

1. The Assassination Inciter
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingenvironment & nature

Top ten excuses of Kenneth Crowder, a 41-year-old Melbourne, Florida man arrested for having sex with a tree

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10. “She has the loveliest limbs I’ve ever seen.”

9. “I just felt like being knotty.”

8. “I’ve always had sex with women before, and I thought I’d branch out.”

7. “I myself am a son of a birch.”

6. “Her body is gnarly, man!”

5. “When it comes to romance, I’m a real sap.”

4. “I pine for her every day.”

3. “I’ve asked her to marry me again and again; every year she gets another ring.”

2. “One touch from her and I’m sporting wood.”

1. “Beggars can’t be choosers – though actually I’d prefer a trimmed bush.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

educationvirtual children by Scott Warnock

Blast from the past: Talking about Trump U — a decade ago

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It’s summer, and I’m just back from vacation and scraping off some rust. In the spirit of summer reruns (who’s reading now anyway?), I wanted to re”publish” an old piece this week. Observing some activities of late on the political front, I remembered an article I wrote a decade ago that I think works well for my throwback purposes, or at least provides relevant context for my effort to get around writerly laziness. So, here, reprinted in full, is an August 2006 piece from Academic Exchange Extra about Trump University. (Note: This runs long and even comes with citations. Note: It’s not political.)

Could Trump U Help E-learning Advocates?

[Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingsports

Top ten events rejected for this week’s Summer Olympics in Rio

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10. Sewer Diving

9. Urban Shooting

8. Javelin Catching

7. Defensive Archery

6. Scum Sailing

5. Hockeying a Loogie

4. Zika Dodging

3. Topless Beach Volleyball

2. Pokémon Go Roundup

1. Synchronized Sludge
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingenvironment & nature

Top ten answers to the question “How hot is it?”

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10. “It’s so hot, Siri suggested I drop my cell phone in a glass of iced tea.”

9. “It’s so hot, my water buffalo evaporated.”

8. “It’s so hot, Jehovah’s Witnesses have decided to give telemarketing a try.”

7. “It’s so hot, the Campbell Soup Company is changing its directions to ‘Open, pour, and enjoy!’”

6. “It’s so hot, a Republican actually broke down and admitted Global Warming is real.”

5. “It’s so hot, instead of bread, stores are only selling toast.”

4. “It’s so hot, Hillary Clinton will continue campaigning in her pantsuit…without the pants.”

3. “It’s so hot, in Colorado, Washington, Alaska and Oregon, joints are lighting themselves.”

2. “It’s so hot, I ran into a burning building, just to cool off.”

1. “It’s so hot, Melania Trump actually appreciated the cool reception her plagiarized speech got.”
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.