virtual children by Scott Warnock

Grades online…

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Teachers now are under a great deal of scrutiny because of digital gradebooks. They are expected to update grades on an almost hourly basis and… [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten Donald Trump jokes of the moment

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10. “I saw that on Monday Donald Trump met with the Egyptian president in New York City while he’s in town for the U.N. General assembly. Trump said he’s always felt connected to Egypt, mostly because Trump University was a huge pyramid scheme.” – Jimmy Fallon, 9/21/16

9. “We are 25 days away from the election and Donald Trump is burning up like a meteor entering the atmosphere. Five women have come forward this week to claim he behaved inappropriately with them, touching, etc., including a reporter from People magazine and former pageant winner. Which is very bad news for his campaign. The good news is, he just got an offer to be the spokesman for Jell-O pudding.” – Jimmy Kimmel, 10/13/16

8. “During a rally in Florida yesterday Donald Trump boasted about his plans for ISIS and said he will ‘be their worst nightmare.’ Oh, wow, so he’s also running for president of ISIS? ” – Seth Meyers, 10/13/16

7. Billy Bush was suspended from his job after that video of him and Donald Trump making lewd sexual comments surfaced, “which means there is currently a higher standard for host of the third hour of the Today show than there is for Republican nominee for President of the United States.” – Seth Meyers, 10/10/16

6. “By the way, I don’t think that’s what Donald Trump’s advisers meant when they told him to reach out to women.” – Stephen Colbert, 10/10/16

5. “The man who is this close to the highest office in the land now occupies the lowest office in the land: The pervert on the bus.” – Seth Meyers, 10/10/16

4. As to Trump’s claim that it was just locker room talk, “First of all, no it’s not. That is not the way men in locker rooms talk. Second of all, this is the problem: Trump treats the entire world like the inside of a men’s locker room. And you just know he’s the locker-room type who towel dries his hair while he’s buck naked with one leg up on the bench so everyone has to avert their eyes to avoid looking at his saggy ball sac.” – Seth Meyers, 10/10/16

3. “In fact, ‘Take a Tic Tac and grab ’em by the pussy’ is the closest thing to a plan Donald Trump has described this entire election.” – Samantha Bee, 10/10/16

2. “You weren’t in a locker room, you sleazy pair of sweat socks. You were at work!” – Samantha Bee, 10/10/16

1. “I can’t wait for Wednesday’s final debate, to see if Trump accidentally blows his brains out, when he shoots himself in the foot while his foot is in his mouth.” – Bob Sullivan, Top Ten List, 10/17/16


Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Top ten ways the world would be different if the numbers 1 through 9 never existed

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10. Donald Trump would be the tenth worst choice to elect President of the United States

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

virtual children by Scott Warnock

Those rotten cheaters?

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I’m in the world of online learning, and I read about this topic most days. Recently I saw an email ad that said, “When a school or district makes the shift to online testing, the top concern of teachers is how to prevent students from cheating.” The “top concern”? While we should be concerned about cheating, let’s not exaggerate its prevalence online. After all, you don’t have to look far to see that people cheat, well, everywhere. [Read more →]

animalsBob Sullivan's top ten everything

Top ten excuses of Travis Wagner, a 21-year-old Lancaster County, PA man arrested for having sex with a miniature pony

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10. He started horsing around, and then things just got out of hand.

9. During the playoffs, he misheard when someone said he should be rooting for the Phillies!

8. He knew he’d never have to pay palimony to a palomino.

7. Seriously, have you seen that horse?!

6. His ex-girlfriend once told him he was hung like one.

5. As a kid, he loved riding that horsie in front of Kmart.

4. He claimed he was looking for a stable relationship.

3. The pony looked exactly like his high school sweetheart.

2. He was put up to it – by a small step stool.

1. His friends had misunderstood him when they told him it was perfectly okay if he was “feeling a little hoarse.”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingpolitics & government

Bill O’Reilly’s top ten good things about slavery

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10. When they were building the White House, they were “well fed”

9. They “had decent lodgings provided by the government”

8. Many of them got a free sea cruise before arriving in America

7. They didn’t have to pay income taxes

6. Their cramped overcrowded lodgings encouraged cameraderie

5. Frequently, owners would deign to have sex with them

4. Their situation led to the creation of many deeply moving Negro spirituals; which led to the creation of blues, jazz, and boogie-woogie; which led to the creation of rock and roll

3. Free on-the-job training

2. They got to spend time in our nation’s capital

1. They were finally safe from lions, hyenas, cheetahs and elephants

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

art & entertainmentbooks & writing

Added to my e-bookshelf … Professor Challenger: New Worlds, Lost Places

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In the course of a prolific career that traversed a wide variety of genre, British writer Arthur Conan Doyle created – for me, at least – three singular characters. Over time, those three have achieved varying degrees of popularity and shelf-presence.

I have read all of Doyle’s stories of detective Sherlock Holmes, and almost all his stories of Brigadier Etienne Gerard. In contrast, I have read only one of his Professor George Edward Challenger stories … but what a wonderful story it was! And I am not at all surprised that it provided much of the foundation for “Professor Challenger: New Worlds, Lost Places” a collection of short stories inspired by Doyle’s brilliant, headstrong and physical academician.
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Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingeducation

Top ten signs you’ve chosen a bad college

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10. There’s only one ‘L’ in ‘COLEGE’

9. All the professors are on some sort of work release program

8. The photo on the cover of the campus brochure is a shot of Kim Kardashian’s ass

7. The college insists that you pay your tuition up front, in cash, no large bills

6. When you ask if the college is well endowed, the school president pulls down his zipper

5. The school’s Latin motto is “Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis” (“Unencumbered by the Thought Process”)

4. Sociology professor + Groucho glasses = Calculus professor

3. The dean is being followed by a crew from 60 Minutes

2. Instead of the S.A.T., you just have to pass a urine test

1. It’s Trump University

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

books & writingcreative writing

The Writer’s Parents

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“They were like all other parents. My mother liked to feed us. My father liked to take pictures.”

from The Lazarus Project by Aleksandar Hemon

Recent news of Lionel Shriver donning a sombrero to protest identity politics in the creative-writing world reminded me of Jenny Zhang’s Buzzfeed response to white poet Michael Derrick Hudson’s use of the Chinese pen name Yi-Fen Chou to wiggle his way into a Best of American Poetry collection.

I ignored the controversy over cultural appropriation but “took” from the Zhang essay to compare and contrast her parents’ fear of a child’s future as a writer to my own parents’ feelings about my choices. [Read more →]

recipes & food

Love is in the air …

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… well, green chile, actually … same thing.

For me, September is one of those times where something touches and excites the senses, bringing fond memories to the surface, and setting me on the path to add yet another page to that particular ‘fond memory’ archive.

It’s chile-roasting time in the southwest … and love truly is in the air … well, for me, at least!
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race & culturesports

T-shirts at a high school football game (or, Maximum America)

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Our local high school football team’s name: Redskins. Yes, of course, I know it’s a controversial name across the country, and it’s been controversial locally on and off over the years (more off than on, currently — anyway, I’m not in charge of these things). This area of Pennsylvania is replete with native history and references. Last night, the Redskins hosted the visiting Indians. As I said, replete.

Like many other people, a dad attending the game was wearing a shirt that said Redskins. He was Indian. As in, from India. (I’m pretty sure — I didn’t ask.)

There was also a white guy with a seriously bushy beard wearing a shirt with an American flag on it and the words Undefeated World War Champion.

I don’t know what all this means, maybe something about melting pots or the circle of life, but it seems important.

The Redskins defeated the Indians 43-7.

educationvirtual children by Scott Warnock

“A” for everything? Maybe not quite

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Grade inflation is a popular topic (at least on Google, where the term gives you a quarter million+ hits). A recent article in Inside Higher Ed titled “Grade Inflation, Higher and Higher” examined again a subject that seems to annoy almost everyone. [Read more →]

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtelevision

Top ten signs you’re not going to win an Emmy next Sunday night

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10. Your performance has been described as “Sandler-esque”

9. Contestants on Bowling for Dollars aren’t eligible

8. Your show only appeared on YouTube, and starred Mr. Whiskers

7. You were a writer for Hollywood Game Night

6. Your pilot for Law & Order: U.S. Postal Inspection Service never made it to air

5. Your reality show is all about your family-operated business called Duck Commander

4. As a C.S.I. corpse, you were never given the opportunity to show your full range as an actor

3. Donald Trump is somehow involved

2. Outstanding Lead Actor in a Boner Pill Commercial isn’t a category

1. You’re a Kardashian

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

religion & philosophyterror & war

My problem with Patriot Day

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It’s been just under fifteen years, now, that Joint Resolution 71 passed through the U.S. House of Representatives, then the U.S. Senate, then was signed into by law President George Bush, proclaiming September 11 as Patriot Day. This followed President Bush’s proclamation of September 14, 2001 – just three days after the horrific terrorist attacks of ‘9/11’ – as a National Day of Prayer and Remembrance. Personally, I think President Bush had the right idea in that proclamation, perhaps realizing that there was more to what we experienced that terrible day – and the days and years that followed – than just patriotism. [Read more →]

virtual children by Scott Warnock

Stop trying to steal my summer

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Maybe it’s because I work at Drexel. We are a different school in many ways, especially because we’re on the quarter system. We’re shifted off a month from other universities. While most freshmen go off to college at the end of August, Drexel students nervously wait for weeks. In June, when everyone else has been done for a month, we’re in finals season. So maybe I’m schedule-weird, but I  really want people to stop trying to steal my summer. [Read more →]

all workBob Sullivan's top ten everything

In honor of Labor Day, top ten worst jobs in the United States

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10. Hillary Clinton’s IT guy

9. Duck Dynasty beard de-tangler

8. Republican fact checker

7. Amish air conditioner repairman

6. Roger Ailes’s lotion boy

5. Apprentice crackwhore

4. Public pool pee monitor

3. Suicide bomber

2. Hooker at Comic-Con 2016

1. Donald Trump’s PR guy

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtravel & foreign lands

Top ten signs you’ve had a bad summer

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10. The B&B you stayed at evidently stood for ‘bed’ and ‘bugs’

9. What everyone else thought was a sunburn was actually a rash

8. You got a “TRUMP 2016” facial tattoo

7. You were the only person at your resort not wearing a yellow hazmat suit

6. You lost so much blood from mosquito bites, they actually stopped biting you

5. You got kicked out of your luxury hotel because you were lying stark naked on your bed when the maid walked in…finally!

4. You caught crabs at the beach – but not the edible kind

3. You thought the summer camp you were applying to was named after the ancient Egyptian goddess Isis

2. Your eyebrows haven’t grown back since the Fourth of July

1. First name ‘Ryan’, last name ‘Lochte’

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtravel & foreign lands

Top ten signs your lifeguard is nuts

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10. He won’t give you mouth-to-mouth unless he takes you to dinner first

9. He’s declared himself “King of the Ocean” and sits atop his lifeguard tower wearing an ermine-lined cloak and holding a scepter

8. He has a tendency to throw drowning people the wrong kind of Life Saver, and prefers peppermint

7. Instead of rubbing sunblock on his nose, he uses vanilla pudding

6. He prefers sitting with his back to the ocean

5. He’ll only use his defibrillator to heat his tacos

4. He’s dating his CPR dummy

3. He’s wearing a lifeguard whistle. Period.

2. Whenever someone is drowning, he tries to run towards them in slow motion, because that’s how they run on Baywatch

1. He likes to be buried in the sand up to his neck…headfirst

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

books & writing

Added to my e-bookshelf … Tesseracts Eighteen: Wrestling With Gods

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Don’t let the title of Wrestling with Gods, a collection of short stories and poems assemble by Liana Kerzner and Jerome Stueart, fool you. It DOES provide an overlying theme for this latest installment of the Tesseracts series … but it provides only a hint of what the reader will find inside. [Read more →]

educationvirtual children by Scott Warnock

NJ Board of Ed blows it on PARCC test

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Can you dunk a basketball? If not, you are below expectations, because my expectation is that you should be able to. I don’t care if you’re short or are a great soccer player. I don’t care that there aren’t b-ball hoops in your neighborhood. You better find a dunking-specific coach and get to work. And so we have the PARCC test and its mysterious expectations. Yet the New Jersey State Board of Education still recently voted 6-0-1 to make PARCC a graduation requirement by 2020. [Read more →]