Top ten false claims being made by Republicans about President Obama’s Healthcare Plan
10. If you plan to get sick, you must give the government at least three months notice.
9. To pay for it, taxes will be raised only on those earning more than $250 per year.
8. All cigarettes will be banned, except Newport 100s (Obama’s brand).
7. Our new Secretary of Health and Human Services: Michael Moore.
6. We will not pass the cost of this plan on to our children, or to our children’s children; it will be paid for by their children.
5. Prostate exams will be made more comfortable, via candlelight and romantic music.
4. Once healthcare rationing begins, registered Democrats get first dibs.
3. Coming soon to every mall in America: free abortion kiosks.
2. In early spring, all the elderly will be rounded up and placed on ice floes.
1. The plan won’t cover people born in foreign countries — Obama included.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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Cervical-cancer sniffing dogs will be covered, but only if you’re a 7 or above and 35 or younger.