Top ten things overheard at this year’s Fourth of July barbecue

Top ten things overheard at this year’s Fourth of July barbecue

Posted on July 6th, 2009 by Bob Sullivan

10. “Wish somebody had told me this BBQ was BYO!”

9. “The DVD that Weird Uncle Frank rented certainly sounds patriotic: The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!”

8. “My hot dog has an engagement ring on it.”

7. “Come on upstairs; I’ll show you some fireworks!”

6. “Tell Lester to get on the other side of the volleyball net! He’s too fat to be jumping up and down directly over the septic tank!”

5. “Which is the burger and which is the charcoal?”

4. “Who chugged all the lighter fluid?”

3. “Alright, nobody light their cigarettes near Donald!”

2. “I think Grandma lost her dentures in the coleslaw again.”

1. “It’s deer meat! Couldn’t have been in the road more than a day or two.”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.