I tweeted about this but I am so enraged I can’t just leave it at that. 140 characters isn’t enough. You never shake a baby. You never do anything that would encourage someone else to shake a baby. That is not how you get a kid quiet… unless, of course, you’re an idiot. So please, someone tell me how it is at all entertaining to play a game where the only way to quiet the baby down is to shake it? Seriously, what is wrong with people? [Read more →]
It’s April and baseball is back: time for memories and hopes to burden and blur our sense of reality and the here-and-now. Baseball is a link to the past, including the personal past: a line drive leading straight back to childhood. I am reminded of this by an incident that occurred exactly a year ago. [Read more →]
I propose that book publishers allow readers to download individual short stories, similar to iTunes providing the means to download individual songs without having to buy the entire album. In fact, it seems that Apple may be able to compete with Amazon’s superiority in the e-book market, as book downloads has increased by 280% in Apple’s iPhone App Store. [Read more →]
So, book number two in Elizabeth Boyle’s Bachelor Chronicles series, Confessions of A Little Black Gown, came out at the very end of March, and since book number three comes out this next Tuesday (4/28), I thought it would be a good book to read while I await Mary Balogh’s book, which also comes out next Tuesday. If you find the infidelity with authors heinous, get over it. It just isn’t feasible to stick with just one author and patiently await her upcoming release with bated breath. [Read more →]
So here’s what’s going on. Last night was Disco Night on American Idol. It was revolting. I don’t want to talk about it at all. I hated everyone’s performance. Kriss was the only person that I didn’t wish cancer upon. So to change it up, I’m going to form a list of quotes and you can take turns guessing who would be more likely to say each one. It’s like a game. Only there’s no winner, no point and no prizes. [Read more →]
I recently moved to a new apartment and gained an insight that just might save us from economic apocalypse. During the course of the move, the movers began to behave increasingly oddly. First, after agreeing to a credit card payment, they abruptly demanded cash. Then they demanded half of that cash halfway through the work. Then they revealed their overtime rates were greater than previously explained. My brother and I became increasingly frustrated, but didn’t really object (you feel weird low-balling someone who just hauled a couch to a fourth story walkup). We agreed to pretty much all of their demands, and when the truck was empty my brother went to settle the inflated tab, even tacking on a tip. [Read more →]
March 24, 2009
I dream I am in a community theater production of How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying. We are performing in an enormous high school auditorium and the show is finally over. I have last curtain call because I am playing Finch, but the co-starring role of J. B. Biggley is played by a diminutive version of Danny Kaye. In Diminutive Kaye’s contract he gets to sing extra songs during the curtain call. Right before I am supposed to bow, Diminutive Kaye starts singing a medley of songs. Everybody on stage gradually leaves but Diminutive Kaye just keeps singing. I never get to bow. [Read more →]
Saving the world is still a fun and carefree way to spend six issues.
When it comes to very popular series or characters, (Superman, Batman, The X-Men, etc.), there are so many spin-offs in the comic book world that it can become hard to tell which are main storylines and which are ones-offs. [Read more →]
Over thirty years have passed since All the President’s Men, and we now have State of Play, a political thriller where a suspicious character is actually using a room in the Watergate. While the state of the political scandal remains as strong as ever, the same cannot be said for our nation’s newspapers. Just as I really began to register the decline of the Philadelphia Inquirer, I received a notice that the newspaper can no longer give discounts to subscribers. While some of the characters in State of Play wonder if anyone still reads the newspaper, in this film the printed word trumps the blog. [Read more →]
For some reason home cooks are afraid of squid. My best guess is because squid has the reputation of being very difficult to work with and easy to screw up. I disagree. Here is a super easy weeknight recipe for a delicious, healthy-ish version of fried calamari.
If all chick lit were this well-written, I would read more of it.
This is definitely one to put on your beach-reads list. Lola is funny and engaging, her friends are totally over the top, and her situation is unique enough to be interesting, but in some ways, it is all too familiar. It makes for a charming, funny little romp of a book that I thoroughly enjoyed. [Read more →]
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to visit a class at St. Joseph’s University, which happens to be my alma mater. Sam Starnes, who invited me, used to review for me when I was the book editor at the Philadelphia Inquirer. He wanted me to talk to his students about reviewing.
What I had to say was the less interesting part of the visit. [Read more →]
In general, don’t child actors end up messed up enough? How on earth do you get over knowing your father tried to sell you? I mean, what would Punky Brewster have done? I am sure she would have had a lot of takers — and her parents would have walked away with way more than $300K. [Read more →]
Last Week’s Roundup
Desperate Housewives, ABC, 9PM — On Sunday, Wisteria Lane lost one of its best neighbors, Edie Britt. After the accident and electrocution, we weren’t sure of her fate, but now we know she’s gone for good. In my eyes, Nicolette Sheridan was the best part of the show (I’ve been a big time fan since her role as Paige on “Knot’s“). She brought entertainment, fun, and flavor to the somewhat monotonous life of suburbia (though, the show has been great this past season). Now who is going to make fun of Susan, come between marriages, or jog practically naked around the neighborhood? Mrs. McCluskey? [Read more →]
My last few columns have all dealt with pretty heavy stuff — time for a palate cleanser. Kurt Vonnegut fans know that Slaughterhouse Five may be his most famous, and even his best, book. But the most enjoyable, the funniest, the most original, and Slaughterhouse’s predecessor by 10 years, is the interplanetary space romp The Sirens of Titan. [Read more →]
I am not sure which side of my column’s theme to apply this week’s main story. It is certainly Bad Sports to think that Harry Kalas will never again call a Phillies game. To me, Kalas was more than the voice of the Phillies. In many ways, he was the voice of my sports fandom. I have spent a great deal of my life watching sports, and there is no single individual who better personifies that time than Harry. [Read more →]
10. No employer-subsidized health care coverage
9. Parrot poop on their shoulders
8. Little chance of actually getting to meet Johnny Depp
7. Scurvy
6. Keep getting their swash caught in their buckle
5. No discount when eating at Long John Silver’s
4. People who keep coming up to them and saying, “Arrrrrrrr!!!”
3. Seriously, have you ever been to Somalia?
2. When they forget, and put their telescope up to the eye with the patch
1. Navy snipers
Charts and schedules motivate me, sometimes ridiculously so (as I am about to show). Often the intrinsic payoff for accomplishing a task pales beside the fulfillment I feel placing a clean check mark within the lines of that little box on a “to do” list. How can this be a bad thing? During completion of the objectives on a list I have a sense of control; afterward, an indisputable visual proof of progress. [Read more →]
Word on the Street is that Obama’s in cash. That’s right, contrary to earlier reports he’s not in guns, gold, and Geithner’s back pocket; further, we’re not talking “good as gold” blue-chip shares, inflation-linked bonds, or treasury notes. When asked about his failure to own good ol’ U-S-A treasury notes, Obama responded, “Would you invest in a country that owes over a trillion dollars and hasn’t built a decent car in thirty years?” [Read more →]
Every time I see an advertisement for ShamWOW I wonder if M.A.D. wasn’t so mad after all.
