Top ten ways General Motors plans to cut costs

Top ten ways General Motors plans to cut costs

Posted on April 27th, 2009 by Bob Sullivan

10. Car radios are being replaced by old cell phones with ten different ringtones

9. No more lunch breaks for their assembly line robots

8. They’re just sticking a GM frame on top of a Tata Nano

7. Car goes from zero to sixty in a day and a half

6. Instead of brakes, it’s an anchor and a rope

5. All Saturns are being downgraded to Plutos

4. The seatbelts are duct tape

3. For their multi-million-dollar bonuses, top executives will get only 99 cents on the dollar

2. In an emergency, your air bag has to be blown up by mouth

1. Your warranty extends until you get the car off the lot

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.