William Faulkner is not an author whose books one tends to reread. When you’ve mounted the Everests of Absalom, Absalom! or The Hamlet, for example, you may feel exhilarated and triumphant, but you don’t particularly yearn to start all over from the beginning. I’ve read Light in August twice and will again. Of all Faulkner’s novels, it is the most atmospheric in its depiction of the hot summer deep South and the most tragic and compelling in the trajectory it plots for its main characters. 

Race is never far from the surface in Faulkner’s books and it is front and center here. Joe Christmas, who has often passed for white when he meets the sexually frustrated and menopausal Joanna Burden, is possibly the richest black character in all of Faulkner. The innocent but pregnant Lena Grove is Eve in a fallen world, and the Reverend Hightower, as Christmas’s conflicted protector and Lena’s deliverer, unites the novel’s various themes of racial intolerance, isolation born of conscience, and the search for or avoidance of one’s true identity. Christian themes and parallels abound, but the book is never schematic or preachy. And the ending is one of the most memorable in all of 20th century fiction. 

Light in August is also one of the most readable of Faulkner’s novels. Certainly the clotted and hyper-descriptive, and repetitive, prose of Absalom, Absalom!, or the dense and challenging stream-of-consciousness in The Sound and the Fury (I confess to having read only the first section, though I’ve tried the second at least twice and gave up both times!) have their considerable rewards, however much patient rereading is required, but “Light in August” is written in a lovely distillation of Faulknerian prose. I’ll leave you with this passage, one of my favorites, describing the pregnant Lena watching the slow progress of a wagon coming her way. It’s about the most overwrought you’ll find in the book: 

The sharp and brittle crack and clatter of its weathered and ungreased wood and metal is slow and terrific: a series of dry sluggish reports carrying for a half mile across the hot still pinewinery silence of the August afternoon. Though the mules plod in a steady and unflagging hypnosis, the vehicle does not seem to progress. It seems to hang suspended in the middle distance forever and forever, so infinitesimal is its progress, like a shabby bead upon the mild red string of road. So much is this so that in the watching of it the eye loses it as sight and sense drowsily merge and blend, like the road itself, with all the peaceful and monotonous changes between darkness and day, like already measured thread rewound onto a spool. So that at last, as though out of some trivial and unimportant region beyond even distance, the sound of it seems to come slow and terrific and without meaning, as though it were a ghost traveling a half mile ahead of its own shape. ‘That far within my hearing before my seeing,’ Lena thinks.     

Other highly recommended works of Faulkner: As I Lay Dying, “A Rose for Emily” (short story), The Bear, and Go Down, Moses.

Now Read This! appears every Monday. Learn about all the great books you wish you’d read. Then read them.

Tags: books & writing, now read this! by Christopher Guerin
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1. Fled on foot
Example Usage: After ditching the car, the suspect fled on foot across a crowded playground.
Complaint: He didn’t flee in a hot air balloon, it was on his feet!
Annoyance Value: 5

2. Literally
Example Usage: When JumJums died, I literally cried for three weeks, my heart broke in two, literally, broke in two.
Complaint: Everyone knows someone who abuses this word in every story and description. Stop! I’m not alone on this one.
AV: 9

3. Apropos
Example Usage: I see you’re eating a Jeno’s frozen pizza. That’s very apropos considering March is National Frozen Food Month.
Complaint: What, you’re too good for the word appropriate? Apropos’ silent s isn’t nearly as cool as the silent g in paradigm, even if March is Frozen Food Month or National Peanut Month or whatever.
AV: 8 [Read more →]

Tags: diatribes, language & grammar by Tyler Samien
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10. Military was not only authorized to conduct warrantless searches of Americans’ homes, but to try on their underwear

9. Waterboarding was no longer considered torture, but a recreational activity

8. United States was authorized to hold detainees indefinitely without charges, without a hearing, without legal counsel, and without basic cable

7. Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press were downgraded from “rights” to “suggestions”

6. Bush authorized the transfer of captured terrorists to the control and custody of foreign nations, and required them to fly coach!

5. The definition of “permissible interrogation techniques” was expanded to include forcing detainees to watch Mike Myer’s The Love Guru

4. Justice Department’s “Internal Ethics Office” was renamed “Yeah, Right!”

3. If someone irritated Dick Cheney, he was legally permitted to shoot him in the face

2. When addressing President Bush directly, all subordinates were required to use the term “Your Highness”

1. As a favor to logging, mining, and drilling industries, “Endangered Species” were reclassified as “Enemy Combatants”

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, politics & government by Bob Sullivan
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I’ll tell you why Pennsylvania State Senator Vince Fumo is going to be convicted by the jury currently considering his guilt or innocence on 137 charges of abuse of power. It’s because no mother would want a son to disappoint her so much. And Fumo is being judged by a jury consisting of 10 women along with two men, all of whom have heard, chapter and verse, about things that would shame a mother. The sins of arrogance and pride, the loss of perspective about what is right and what is not right, the fall from grace by a brilliant man because he thought he was beyond falling. Testimony during the epic trial that began before the Phillies won the World Series has revealed the son for the man he became, an insecure bully of staff and loved ones, a clueless tyrant who compared his misdeeds to spitting on the sidewalk, and excused his paranoia about a former girlfriend that led him to hire a private investigator to stalk her by explaining to the court that he — Vince Fumo — is terribly shy.

Bull-shy. Fumo may be socially inept but “shyness” does not accurately describe his single-minded quest for power or appliances or yacht trips or control over others. The case of the People versus Vince Fumo was settled long ago by the people’s court of Philadelphia. The verdict: the guy is a vindictive creep. The creep factor has loomed large in this trial, from the ALL CAPS profanity laced emails, to his compulsive acquisition of vacuum cleaners for each room of his mansion, to the private eye tailing his ex, to the taxpayer paid staffers and equipment dispatched to hoist a flag at his Jersey shore summer home, to the weird relationship between him and two older men — “surrogate fathers” — one who gave him a million dollars to settle a divorce, the other who testified against him in court. And then there were his favorite initials, OPM, for Other People’s Money. LOL.

But creepiest of all was the former state senator’s testimony in his own defense. “I did what I did,” he said in open court about things most of us would whisper to a priest in confession. Here was the self-proclaimed most powerful Democratic politician in Pennsylvania describing his duties to the chamber he represented and the people he served: “My only obligation as a senator is to go to Harrisburg and vote.” And then there was his Whopper Junior moment when instead of shouting, “I wish I’d never been broiled,” he said, “In retrospect, I wish I never got elected to the senate.” Et tu, Vincenzo?

Tags: on the law, politics & government by Clark DeLeon
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I suffered gladly from tension headaches for many years.  Why gladly?  Because I was grateful they weren’t migraines.  My headaches, by comparison, were pretty mild, and I always assumed they were the price I had to pay for being a writer — a kind of “background noise” to my life. 

As I noted in a previous post, I write all day long in my role as a marketing consultant and, after work, I spend a substantial percentage of my time researching and writing books and book proposals; literary essays; and art, film, and book reviews (most of which are collected here.)   

Not to mention the odd blog post.

All of this requires a great deal of reading and sitting in front of a computer.  This, of course, was at the root of my problems — or so I assumed. 

But recently, my headaches had been getting worse. 

This despite years of consultations and treatments with a physician, physical therapist, craniosacral therapist, chiropractor, dentist, acupuncturist, two optometrists, and many, many massage therapists. 

I’d adjusted my computer display, raised the level of the monitor, lowererd the level of the monitor, changed my glasses, changed the lighting, raised my chair, lowered my chair, bought firmer pillows, bought softer pillows, did stretches, went for walks, got massages, exercised. 

I spent a good part of every evening kneading my shoulder and the base of my neck, and, especially, my left temple, where the pain and muscle-knotting was the worst. 

I sometimes wore heat wraps during the day, and often used ice packs at night. 

I also cycled through various combinations of Tylenol, Excedrin, Advil, Aleve, aspirin, Xanax, muscle relaxants and more.  The only drug that ever seemed to work was Excedrin Extra Strength, but the caffeine in it made it feel like I was jumping out of my skin. 

The odd thing about my headaches was that they were at their worst in the early morning hours, as I was gradually arising from sleep (sometimes, they’d awaken me at 4:30 in the morning, but never any earlier than that.)  And as bad as they were, they often would disappear immediately upon awakening, or as soon as I’d stepped into the shower, only to gradually creep up on me again in the late afternoon or early evening. 

I knew there was some significance to this, but never could quite understand what it was — nor could any of my doctors.  Instead, it took an outre alternative medical practitioner who calls himself an “energy worker” to finally diagnose my condition, after all these years. 

[Read more →]

Tags: health & medical by Michael Antman
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Tomorrow at noon my first When Falls The Coliseum column on books will be published under the title “Now Read This!” Thanks to Scott Stein for suggesting the concept and offering it to me. The premise is simple. I’ll write brief essays on books I’ve read that perhaps you’ve always considered reading yourself, but have put off until now.

As an unreconstructed 70’s English major (who fondly remembers the New Criticism), I’ve continued to read throughout my adult working life, even though that work, mostly in the symphony orchestra business, had nothing to do with books. I’ve tended to follow my “enthusiasms.” I’ll discover an author, like Balzac or Alice Munro, and proceed to read as many of his/her works as I can until the “enthusiasm” runs its course. So, not only will I write on a specific book, but I’ll often conclude with a short list of additional recommendations for the same author. And, I intend always to include one or two extended quotes from the work at hand, to give you a sense of the author’s style.

For the most part, I’ll focus on novels, unconfined to either country or century, but I will also recommend the occasional short story or story collection, or poem or book of poetry.

Finally, I invite comment. “Now Read This!” will have its own point of view, strongly held (I assure you), but I will love nothing more than to be challenged, even contradicted in my assessment of a book’s value. And, though I promise to be as accurate as I can be, I will not be thoroughly rereading books in order to write about them — so please correct a mistake when I make one. Until tomorrow!

Tags: books & writing, now read this! by Christopher Guerin
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A terrible thing happened last year. The Chinese restaurant that my family has been going to for ten years suddenly shut its doors. Well, I guess it wasn’t really that sudden. They had been complaining of diminishing profits since 9/11, as had many Chinatown businesses. Then one sad evening, we showed up for dinner and the place was deserted. I called my husband in disbelief. No more crisp and delicious salt and pepper squid. No more al dente lo mein (my dad’s favorite). Sigh. Once we got over the initial shock, we realized that we had to get serious about the task ahead — we would have to find a replacement for our beloved Kam Chueh (RIP). 

Chinese Restaurants are as American as apple pie. Chinese food, as we know it, was invented in America in the mid-1800s. Chinese immigrants headed west to the California Gold Rush like everyone else, but were discriminated against and denied mining jobs. They quickly learned to adapt, opening restaurants for the miners and railroad workers. They served dishes like General Tso’s chicken and chop suey, which the workers ordered by number rather than attempt to pronounce the strange, new, words.

As the Gold Rush came to an end, violent crime surged out West. Chinese workers headed towards the Northeast where there were better job opportunities and less ethnic discrimination. In 1878, the first Chinese grocery store, Wo Kee, opened on Mott Street. That same year, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Chinese Immigrants would not be permitted to gain American citizenship. The next 60 years were incredibly difficult for the Chinese living in America, as several laws were passed making it nearly impossible for any new Chinese citizens to enter the United States, including the wives and children of the men already here.

[Read more →]

Tags: race & culture, recipes & food by Jessica Alfreds
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This is hilarious. Maybe there is an upside to the recession. More people will have free time to create funny videos for us to watch so we can stop thinking about the fact we can’t pay our bills. This reminded me of those Barbie commercials from the 80’s… and maybe a little of Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Hat Tip: BettyConfidential

Tags: art & entertainment by Amy Boshnack
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I consider myself a very nice guy. I’ve helped old ladies cross the street. I’ve tried to get connections to hook friends up with jobs. I’ve even given stranded motorists a little cash without asking for anything in return.

But I try to avoid giving drunken strangers rides home. A couple of weekends ago, I got cornered into it. 

Around 3 AM, I was hanging out at a fine establishment when an inebriated gentleman told me his friends had ditched him and he needed a ride back to his home in Stamford, about 10 minutes away. I happen to live in Stamford, but I felt uncomfortable putting some random dude in my car. He could have a knife, a gun, anything! So I told him I was going in the other direction, and he ignored my sensible suggestion of calling a taxi.

About a half hour later, I took off from the bar solo, having driven myself. I was on the road leading away from the bar when I received a phone call from my friend. We’ll call him “Q.” Here’s how the brief discussion went down… [Read more →]

Tags: drugs & alcohol, ends & odd by Glenn Giangrande
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I have a love/hate relationship with reality television. My personal favorite reality show of all time would have to be the very first season of The Real World. It really felt real. There had never been a show like it. It was a new and raw concept and it was full of people who had never seen reality TV before. That alone set these seven strangers picked to live in a loft apart from the hundreds of cast members to follow. And if nothing else, Eric Nies was so much fun to look at… vacant and narcissistic, but fun.

Today is a new day. A day with douchey bachelors who propose to girls on national television only to break up with them on national television just weeks later. Whether you’re under contract or not, it’s a classless thing to do to someone. Even former bachelors and bachelorettes are bashing him. If you’re not familiar with the show but would like a recap, you’re not getting it from me. I’m over this guy. However, Kristen Baldwin of Entertainment Weekly puts it perfectly here.

The show I would like to talk about is American Idol. It’s a full on train wreck. The performers, for the most part, are maniacal and untalented. The judges are on drugs (just admit it, Paula) and Seacrest is a midget with a grin so irritating I sometimes fantasize about stapling his lips together.

Here are a few contestants that stand out to me, good and bad… [Read more →]

Tags: television by Jaclyn Roth
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In July I posted “Making Time,” talking about how important it is for a writer to make time to write. My daughter was born a week later, and I didn’t write a new word for the next six months. At random points during that period, when my synapses were actually firing in a semi-functional capacity, I would occasionally think to myself what a sanctimonious ass I must have sounded like, lecturing people about whether or not they were writing.

Am I a sanctimonious ass? Maybe. Please allow me some retrospective. [Read more →]

Tags: books & writing, family & parenting by Terrence Cheng
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October 11, 2008
I dream I am performing my magic show, and my nemesis has been whipping the audience into a frenzy exclaiming he is going to expose my new levitation trick. I explain to him that he would disappoint the audience because they want to be mystified more than they want to understand how the trick is done. Furthermore, the levitation apparatus I have is recommended for use with someone who weighs less than 140 pounds, and clearly he weighs more than that. As I explain about the weight, my nemesis transforms into an early 20th century middle-aged woman with a long dress, a comically large hat and a parasol. In his woman configuration, my nemesis will not expose a trick if it means the audience would know he weighs more than 140 pounds.

July 15, 2000
I dream I am at a Weight Watchers meeting and Mary Carpenter is showing the murals of me that she has painted. They are well done, and I thank her. Then I realize that the meeting is about to begin and I haven’t weighed in, nor have I weighed in for weeks. I have a conflict because you’re supposed to pay for weeks that you missed, so I sneak out and plan to rejoin later. I duck into the bathroom and use the enormous orthopedic toilet because I’m curious to see how it will flush.

June 3, 1998
I dream I am at a clothing store for overweight Jewish men. The salesperson is growing impatient with me. I tell her I’m just looking but she wants me to buy something. Mike Young, the artistic director of Comedysportz, also tries to hurry me along. I put them off because I am embarrassed to admit the truth. The largest size in the store is one size too small for me.

Tags: Fred's dreams by Fred Siegel
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I took my kids to visit their great grandmother and in the two minutes I left them alone in the living room, so I could kiss grandma hello, my daughter (age four and a half) managed to rip out of her brother’s hands the singing monkey he’d just found on the window ledge. He is two and a half. She is bigger and quite often just takes what she wants from him. We tell her that he is going to catch-up — and when he does she won’t be able to get away with stuff like that. Well, since he can’t match her physically yet he’s found a way to deter her.

After he tried unsuccessfully to take back the monkey with force, he bit her. And I mean, he really bit her. By the time I heard my daughter screaming and ran into the living room (which was all of three steps) he’d already moved away, with monkey in hand, victorious.

Being the youngest of three kids I can understand where he is coming from. In fact, part of me thought my daughter deserved the bite, but I couldn’t condone the behavior, by either of them. Plus, there is an anger that kind of takes over when you see your kid hurting, even if maybe they had it coming (a little).

So my son got a time-out and seemed to really feel bad that his sister had a full set of his teeth marks on her bicep (which, by the way, was just short of breaking skin.) They hugged and made-up and there were promises from both sides that there would be no more “taking” and no more biting. All was good in the world — and they were once again best friends. That is, they were best friends until the next night when my daughter wanted to ride the rocking horse my son was on… she got her way and ended up on the horse and then he stood up for himself the only way he knew how. At least this time the teeth marks weren’t so bad.

Tags: family & parenting by Amy Boshnack
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“He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.” –Jonathan Swift

Late winter and early spring is peak oyster season, especially the prized Bluepoint oysters named for Blue Point, Long Island where they originate. They are large and plump and full of flavor. Equally important, they’re one of the most nutritious and well balanced foods you can eat; rich in zinc, iron, calcium, Vitamin C, and Vitamin A.

Urban legend contends that it is unsafe to eat oysters in any month that does not contain the letter R. This is mainly because those are the summer months and before refrigeration it could indeed be dangerous to consume oysters at these times. It is now safe to eat oysters all year round, but the peak months are September-April.

Oysters with garlic butter: Serves 2

Ingredients: 8 Oysters, a stick of butter, salt and pepper, a tsp of minced parsley, a head of garlic, 2 lemon wedges.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Tightly wrap a head of garlic (unpeeled) in aluminum foil. Put it in the oven to roast about 45 minutes. Remove the garlic from the oven, unwrap, and let it cool at room temperature. When its cool enough to touch, squeeze the garlic out of the cloves into a bowl. 

Let a stick of butter soften at room temperature.  When its nice and soft, mash it in the bowl with the garlic. Add a pinch of salt, a teaspoon of minced parsley, and mash it all together with the back of a fork.

Preheat a grill pan (I love the cast iron ones made by Lodge — they work the best and they are inexpensive). Place 8 oysters on the pan and spread the tops of each with the seasoned butter. Grill 4 minutes. Serve with lemon wedges.

Serve with a fresh green salad for an easy dinner for two.

Tags: recipes & food by Jessica Alfreds
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Thanks to the Maverick Philosopher I have become familiar with a Turkish proverb: “He who knows the road does not join the caravan.” It came to mind last week when I was pondering the course this column has so far traced. In particular, it caused me to wonder about the fellow who doesn’t know the road, but doesn’t want to join the caravan, either, who wants to discover the road for himself.

In real life, of course, that could prove dangerous. Luckily, marauding brigands pose no threat for mental excursions. So the premise of this column — to follow a train of thought (a mental roadway if you will) and see where it leads — seems safe enough. Nevertheless, I am almost always surprised to find where I end up.

The quotes I choose for my point of departure are usually ones I think I agree with or at least understand. But writing about them makes it necessary to think about them and thinking about them often leaves me wondering about them. By the time I got to the end of the column I wrote about Lord Falkland’s dictum — “When it is not necessary to change, it is necessary not to change” — I wasn’t at all sure that was always such a good idea.    

Perhaps even more interesting — at least to me — is the direction in which the sequence of columns has taken me. After all, one quote often leads to another and the choice is bound to reflect my own preferences and predilections. But one is not always as conscious of those as one might suppose. The columns I have so far written make plain that certain leitmotifs govern my thinking.

I am suspicious of systems of thought. [Read more →]

Tags: religion & philosophy, that's what he said, by Frank Wilson by Frank Wilson
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My husband flew in from Tampa last night and thankfully beat the massive snow storm hitting the east coast. As is normal routine when he travels, as soon as he is on the ground in his destination city and allowed to put on his cell phone, he sends me a text message. Ever since the “Miracle on the Hudson” flight I await these a little more eagerly. Last night the text read, “Just landed. There is a medical emergency on board… We need to remain on the plane until the paramedics remove the passenger.” Five minutes later I got another text from him saying “They just brought in paddles. Feel like I’m on ER.”

He called about 15 minutes later to say he was off the plane and really shaken up; the passenger, seated about 20 rows behind him, didn’t make it. He told me he was going to take it real slow coming home and all he wanted to do was hug the kids.

Apparently what really got him, aside from seeing a body bag being rolled off the plane, was the fact that there were a number of children seated right near the soon-to-be deceased passenger. He said the children ranged in age from about three to twelve and they watched the whole scene, start to finish. Watching those children walk off the plane with their parents, hysterical crying by what they just witnessed, tore my husband up. Not to mention being given a reason to think about his own mortality.

Death happens all around us but we try to shield our children (and sometimes ourselves) by its reality. I wonder if those kids were able to get to sleep last night and I wonder about the lasting images they will have of this passenger dying in front of them. I am guessing things like this don’t happen that often on planes — or maybe it’s just that we don’t hear about them.

Tags: family & parenting, health & medical by Amy Boshnack
5 Comments »

As a college professor I believe that most students are hard working and honest, but invariably there are those who are not. My official policy is as follows: If I catch you cheating, you fail the course, not just the assignment. Harsh? Yes. Unfair? No. [Read more →]

Tags: damned lies, education by Terrence Cheng
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Almost half of tested samples of High Fructose Corn Syrup contain mercury, according to two recent U.S. studies done by the Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy. High Fructose Corn Syrup can be found in everything from English Muffins to Yogurt. In the past 25 years, we have seen a dramatic increase in the use of HFCS in our food; in fact a 4,000 percent per capita increase of HFCS production since 1973. It now accounts for 40 % of all added sweeteners used in the American diet. Chances are very good that you and/or your children ate something containing HFCS today.

The past 25 years have also seen an explosion in autism rates in the U.S. Autism is a complex developmental disorder diagnosed in 1 out of every 150 American children. Ten years ago that statistic was 1 out of every 500. While no one knows what causes autism, there is considerable research showing that elevated rates of mercury and other environmental toxins may play a significant role in the surge of autistic American children. While we may not be able to make a definitive statement about causation in the average child, there certainly seems to be a connection between immuno-deficient children developing autism when exposed to increased levels of environmental toxins. 

[Read more →]

Tags: health & medical, recipes & food by Jessica Alfreds
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10. Turns out he once beat a man to death with a sockful of nickels

9. Feels it’s a bad career move to have his name associated in any way with the U.S. economy

8. Known among his personal staff as “Mr. Hands”

7. Decided he just couldn’t work with Obama after reading the details of Obama’s proposed plan to adopt a Portuguese water dog

6. Revealed he once tried to peddle his influence directly on eBay

5. Hasn’t paid his taxes since the first Darren on Bewitched

4. Once shared a bathroom stall with Larry Craig

3. Told that the position involved lots of math, and he hates math!

2. Caught with his actual hand in a real cookie jar

1. Finally realized there just isn’t any commerce left!

Tags: Bob Sullivan's top ten everything, politics & government by Bob Sullivan
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Chesterfield County, Virginia, is facing some tough times.  While that hardly makes the area unique, it is of particular interest because the school district is facing a massive $52 million shortfall and is looking to cut over 300 positions from the public schools.

The district comprises 38 elementary schools, 14 middle schools, 11 high schools, and a technical center.  If the cuts were distributed evenly, it would come out to nearly 5 positions per school.  And in government work, seniority and tenure mean a lot, so the newest teachers are the ones who will most likely be on the streets.

A recent letter to the Editor of the Chesterfield Observer suggests it be done differently: [Read more →]

Tags: all work, education by Jason Sterlace
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